My official 'about me' post, with as much vague info I can muster.
I am a guy, a married guy, a dad guy, a Christian guy.
I have an American heritage at least 5 generations deep in every branch of my family tree.
I was raised on a farm in the deep South. Specifically Alabama.
I have traveled a bit, never out of the states though.
I now live in a city in Alabama.
I have been a geek pretty much all my life.
I was a big fan of Curious George books growing up.
I used to read encyclopedias for fun.
I went to space camp in Huntsville, AL as a kid. I'll be taking my oldest daughter there for a school field trip next week.
I like Sci Fi books, movies, television shows and computer games, did I mention I am a geek?
I acted some in high school, playing Sherlock Holmes in one particular play
I use to dream of becoming an astronaut till that dream was squashed by harsh reality.
I won a scholarship for highest science ACT score in my home county.
I went to college. I met my wife there.
I like to say bizarre things to get a reaction out of people.
I love sailing ships, aircraft and spacecraft.
I enjoy researching my genealogy.
I can't resist playing with magnets.
I started this blog at the prompting of a friend.
I still don't know where this blog is going but I can't seem to stop, but I can, it seems, pause for a day or two in a row. Stopping doesn't seem to be a option for me, however. For that I am really and truly sorry.
Would ya look at all those I's? Almost makes me seem conceited.
Wednesday
Tuesday
Bush Brushes Teeth, Kerry: I Would Have Brushed Better.
This morning, President Bush brushed his teeth. According to reliable sources, he only took about half a minute. Democratic Party faithful are outraged that the president would brush when so many in the US don't have adequate dental care and many lose teeth daily to tooth decay caused by the lack of federal funding to promote tooth care and due to the dearth of regulation to punish companies that make sweet desserts.
Others are upset not so much that he brushed but that he did such a poor job. The image of President Bush taking care of his teeth in such a haphazard way evoked the ire of his critics. Presidential hopeful John Kerry blasts, 'I would have brushed better. The American people deserve better than a president who doesn't brush his molars, doesn't know the meaning of the word 'floss' and doesn't even own mouthwash. Mr. President, you want the tooth? You can't handle the tooth!."
This Fake News brought to you by the DNC and the Dentist Association of Massachusetts. Remember friends DNC and the Dentist Association of Massachusetts say 'Bush Lied, Teeth Died.'
Others are upset not so much that he brushed but that he did such a poor job. The image of President Bush taking care of his teeth in such a haphazard way evoked the ire of his critics. Presidential hopeful John Kerry blasts, 'I would have brushed better. The American people deserve better than a president who doesn't brush his molars, doesn't know the meaning of the word 'floss' and doesn't even own mouthwash. Mr. President, you want the tooth? You can't handle the tooth!."
This Fake News brought to you by the DNC and the Dentist Association of Massachusetts. Remember friends DNC and the Dentist Association of Massachusetts say 'Bush Lied, Teeth Died.'
Monday
VOTE
There is a ' If the presidential election were held this week, who would you vote for?' poll on MSNBS. By the way, the article is interesting too. But be sure to vote.
Right now Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 180171 votes cast.
Can we improve this? I think we can.
Update: Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 183982 votes cast.
Update: Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 185973 votes cast. Do I sense a pattern here? It's almost, I say almost like those percentages are fixed what do you think?
Update: Kerry 56%, Bush 40%, Nader 4% with 187051 votes cast. Nope nope nope, No monkey business here. Nah, this is probably just the first poll ever that the percentages NEVER, EVER CHANGE. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Update: Kerry 63%, Bush 34%, Nader 3% with 10123 ?? votes cast. What in the world is going on? Now there's LESS votes than before?
Right now Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 180171 votes cast.
Can we improve this? I think we can.
Update: Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 183982 votes cast.
Update: Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 185973 votes cast. Do I sense a pattern here? It's almost, I say almost like those percentages are fixed what do you think?
Update: Kerry 56%, Bush 40%, Nader 4% with 187051 votes cast. Nope nope nope, No monkey business here. Nah, this is probably just the first poll ever that the percentages NEVER, EVER CHANGE. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Update: Kerry 63%, Bush 34%, Nader 3% with 10123 ?? votes cast. What in the world is going on? Now there's LESS votes than before?
I am screaming.
You know*, I used to make really great chimpanzee noises. Maybe I still can. What am I talking about? Of course I still can. I am the king of monkey chatter, besides a real monkey that is. Well actually, I was never crowned king. But that's beside the point.
And what exactly is the point? I am screaming today, not any sort of monkey scream mind you but screaming just the same. I'm not making any sort of awesome monkey gestures though, they go way better with the monkey noises than without them. Without the monkey noises the monkey gestures really just look plain silly.
But I am screaming just the same. Well, not screaming out loud so much, that'd wake the little monkeys. No, its really more of an internal scream, one you'd hear if I could project my mind into your head. Don't get me started on how cool that would be. For me. Other folks wouldn't like it. That's a given. But with that kind of power I don't think it would bother me what happened to the 'little' people. Ok. Back on subject, screaming.
So. why am I screaming inside my head? Why its because I am sitting here looking at all the peoplessss who've been dropping by my little steaming pile of wonderousity this weekend, and I had nothing fresh for them to peruse, nothing, no fake news, no science nerd stuff, no...what that other stuff do I do? Well, whatever it is I didn't have any of it either. And that makes me sad. That's why I'd be screaming now if I were in a good place to scream, like in the car on the way to work. My comfy chair is not suitable for screaming.
But wait just a cotton picking minute. For most of ya'll its your first visit anyway so it's all fresh then. Right? Right. So I guess I don't feel so bad after all. Why I am even bothered that I've been shortchanging any old body. You've got my old stuff. Some of it is a real scream.
*I didn't really think you knew. you know?
And what exactly is the point? I am screaming today, not any sort of monkey scream mind you but screaming just the same. I'm not making any sort of awesome monkey gestures though, they go way better with the monkey noises than without them. Without the monkey noises the monkey gestures really just look plain silly.
But I am screaming just the same. Well, not screaming out loud so much, that'd wake the little monkeys. No, its really more of an internal scream, one you'd hear if I could project my mind into your head. Don't get me started on how cool that would be. For me. Other folks wouldn't like it. That's a given. But with that kind of power I don't think it would bother me what happened to the 'little' people. Ok. Back on subject, screaming.
So. why am I screaming inside my head? Why its because I am sitting here looking at all the peoplessss who've been dropping by my little steaming pile of wonderousity this weekend, and I had nothing fresh for them to peruse, nothing, no fake news, no science nerd stuff, no...what that other stuff do I do? Well, whatever it is I didn't have any of it either. And that makes me sad. That's why I'd be screaming now if I were in a good place to scream, like in the car on the way to work. My comfy chair is not suitable for screaming.
But wait just a cotton picking minute. For most of ya'll its your first visit anyway so it's all fresh then. Right? Right. So I guess I don't feel so bad after all. Why I am even bothered that I've been shortchanging any old body. You've got my old stuff. Some of it is a real scream.
*I didn't really think you knew. you know?
Friday
Kerry Endorsed By Aliens
Following News that, if allowed to vote in U.S. elections, humanity would elect Kerry to be the next U.S. President, aliens of another kind announce they would elect him as well. Celebrations of Super Tuesday victories were interrupted Thursday Night when strange lights filled the sky as Kerry was allowing supporters at the event a sneak glimpse of his pick for VP.
Strobing lights and a throbbing eirie hum filled the arena as a saucer shaped metal craft landed. Then silence. An opening suddenly appeared in the side of the silvery vehicle and a hooded being then emerged and strode across the stage towards the startled Senator from Massachusetts, who by the way served in Viet Nam.
Using a form of mind-to-mind direct communication which boomed in the empty heads of all those present, the being identified himself as 3rd Prelate VtNmBkpdl of the FlpFlp Cluster and immediately expressed his ire for President Bush and his support for Senator Kerry.
The alien guaranteed his kind's help to control the exploding Human population of Earth if Kerry is elected, but offered few details as to what that help might be. VtNmBkpdl continued his mindspeak to provide the media a good soundbite
This fake news story brought to you by the Soylent Green Party. Remember friends, the Soylent Green Party says"WE'RE PEOPLE!"
Strobing lights and a throbbing eirie hum filled the arena as a saucer shaped metal craft landed. Then silence. An opening suddenly appeared in the side of the silvery vehicle and a hooded being then emerged and strode across the stage towards the startled Senator from Massachusetts, who by the way served in Viet Nam.
Using a form of mind-to-mind direct communication which boomed in the empty heads of all those present, the being identified himself as 3rd Prelate VtNmBkpdl of the FlpFlp Cluster and immediately expressed his ire for President Bush and his support for Senator Kerry.
[CURRENT ADMNISTRATION'S UNSAVORY PLANS TO ESTABLISH HUMAN PRESENCE ON MOON WHICH ORBITS THIS PLANET AND ALSO FOURTH PLANET FROM YOUR STAR AS WELL AS UNAPPETIZING EFFORTS TO MILITARIZE SPACE ARE DELICIOUS REASONS HUMANS OF AMERICA SHOULD GIVE DIGESTIVE JUICES, SUPPORT AND VOTE TO HUMAN KERRY.At this point two long pale grey tentacles extended from the cloak which masked most of the alien's features. Many chuckled at the funny alien's joke. Then, to the cheers and applause of the crowd, VtNmBkpdl extended one tentacle towards Kerry who grasped it in a handshaking motion. At ths point a group of Kerry's supporters lined up by the dozen asking to be probed by the alien. The alien further expressed an interest in having many of those present for a meal on board his craft following the party.
ONE CALLED KERRY FAVORS REDUCING WEAPONS AMONG HUMAN POPULATIONS. FLPFLPIANS AGREE, CONCEPT OF UNARMED SPECIES IS EASIEST TO SWALLOW.
WITNESS WITH YOUR VISUAL ORBS.]
The alien guaranteed his kind's help to control the exploding Human population of Earth if Kerry is elected, but offered few details as to what that help might be. VtNmBkpdl continued his mindspeak to provide the media a good soundbite
[KERRY IS MOST EDIBLE CANDIDATE FOR AMERICAN PRESIDENT. FLPFLP SUPPORTS KERRY]In a related story, France surrenders.
This fake news story brought to you by the Soylent Green Party. Remember friends, the Soylent Green Party says
Thursday
Why Can`t Bush be More Like Kerry?
Bush using 911 for political gain? Hmmm, interesting. Then we have more from Kerry Spokesperson Stephanie Cutter who criticizes Bush campaign ads for including images from the 911 tragedy. Here's an excerpt.
Indeed.
Most astonishing, George Bush’s ad features a shot of the wreckage of that tragic September day almost 3 years ago, and the firefighters who so bravely worked to save lives.I just wish Bush would quit using 911 for political gain, he should take the high road like Kerry has done.
Indeed.
Three Way Battle Royale for the Democratic Nomination.
Its a tight three way race for the Democratic Party Presidential Nomination.
With Edwards fist pumping his way back to South Carolina and with Kucinich a veritable shoo in to get the endorsement and delegates of all the dropouts, Sen. Kerry and former frontrunner Al Sharpton are both faced with the prospect of having to appear completely nutcase, utterly kooky, hopelessly fruitcake and totally fricking flacking bazoodlehopper in order to court the reality challenged constituency making up what is being called the 'Kucinich Clown Posse'.
Kerry and Sharpton both seem daunted in the face of the pie charting behemoth that is the Kucinich Election Machine. Now they must 'go it alone' without their usual sane man foils the suave Wesley Clark and the unflappable Howard Dean. Without the somber balance they brought to the candidate pool, the tone of the home stretch of the campaign will no doubt turn freakish.
This outlook has media outlets scambling for copies of Abnormal Psychology to determine appropriate and politically correct terms to describe Kucinichs political views as well as the expected reactions of his opponents to any public statements he may make.
This fake news story is brought to you by the City of Halifax Nova Scotia. Remember friends the City of Halifax Nova Scotia says "You won't hear of us having any mental hospitals, fruitcakes or madmen here in Halifax,anymore. In fact, in these parts those words and terms are illegal."
With Edwards fist pumping his way back to South Carolina and with Kucinich a veritable shoo in to get the endorsement and delegates of all the dropouts, Sen. Kerry and former frontrunner Al Sharpton are both faced with the prospect of having to appear completely nutcase, utterly kooky, hopelessly fruitcake and totally fricking flacking bazoodlehopper in order to court the reality challenged constituency making up what is being called the 'Kucinich Clown Posse'.
Kerry and Sharpton both seem daunted in the face of the pie charting behemoth that is the Kucinich Election Machine. Now they must 'go it alone' without their usual sane man foils the suave Wesley Clark and the unflappable Howard Dean. Without the somber balance they brought to the candidate pool, the tone of the home stretch of the campaign will no doubt turn freakish.
This outlook has media outlets scambling for copies of Abnormal Psychology to determine appropriate and politically correct terms to describe Kucinichs political views as well as the expected reactions of his opponents to any public statements he may make.
This fake news story is brought to you by the City of Halifax Nova Scotia. Remember friends the City of Halifax Nova Scotia says "You won't hear of us having any mental hospitals, fruitcakes or madmen here in Halifax,anymore. In fact, in these parts those words and terms are illegal."
Wednesday
Why do I keep doing these quizzes?
Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.
Must kill, ha ha, ha ha! Death! Playground antics! Cake and cheese! Yes! you're anThis result really bothers me, in a way.
Insane ninja child!
The blast must have hit you particularly strong, because you've gained a billion new superpowers and can take on anyone you want. Even that kid Gunrock-with-nine-arms from down the street. Only problem is, it's driven you completely insane and you now have a thirst for blood equalled only by your thirst for vengeance and peeing in the kitchen bin.
No, stop! That's what the toilet's for. Stop I say!
hat tip to Mike the Marine.
Recent Linkage TO FSMC: a Rundown.
Something's up. I keep getting traffic from a smorgasborg of blogs. The following observations seem to be related.
Larry the Liberal islinking to defaming me as the "Lying SpaceNazi" on the Blame Bush Blog Blogroll. "[BLEEP] That BUSH!" For shame Larry, Language!
I have been added to Ed's Monkey Watch List (Blogroll), and to tell you the truth, it's kinda making me just a wee bit paranoid. SHHHHH did you hear that? It's like someone, somewhere is...reading...my...blog. They're reading.... this...verrrry...post...riiiiiight...now. [shudder] Nahhhhh, I'm sure it's all in my head. Yeah,all in my head, No, wait, my hit counter just jumped by one! Who's there? SPEAK UP! I know you're there I can hear you breathing!
Tim is an Englishman, who, incidentally lives in An Englishman's Castle, in England, no less! He has added me to his blogroll after noticing I wasn't on it. Now the obvious question here is 'Why can't everyone out there realize their mistake and forthrightly correct it like Tim has?' Spot on Tim!
I have been listed under "Section Eights" on Mike the Marine's blogroll on the From the Halls of Montezuma to The Shores of Tripoli blog. Section Eight, that's a good thing, right Mike? I tell you those jarheads and their military terms like MRE, BDU, BR549, EIEIO and Section 8. Aren't they a hoot?
Bert over at Dreifuss.org has added a really cool button on his 'Button Only' Blogroll that directs hapless readers to my little outpost. The poor suckers.
------
Mr. Free Market across the pond at Free Market Fairy Tales - Post-links me on the Scrabble name meme thing when he was bored. I think my score was higher than everybodies. Of course my blog name IS freakin' long. So maybe its not fair.
Harvey at Bad Money - Post-linked about how I put him in his place and stuffed him in his locker and took his lunch money, so to speak.
Robert at llamabutcher - Postlinks about the Geek Quiz, I can't really read this blog's archives very easily
This rash of questionable link choices should have everyone and I mean everyone concerned. But I really do appreciate the general linkerousity of all concerned, whatever their misguided motivation.
Larry the Liberal is
I have been added to Ed's Monkey Watch List (Blogroll), and to tell you the truth, it's kinda making me just a wee bit paranoid. SHHHHH did you hear that? It's like someone, somewhere is...reading...my...blog. They're reading.... this...verrrry...post...riiiiiight...now. [shudder] Nahhhhh, I'm sure it's all in my head. Yeah,all in my head, No, wait, my hit counter just jumped by one! Who's there? SPEAK UP! I know you're there I can hear you breathing!
Tim is an Englishman, who, incidentally lives in An Englishman's Castle, in England, no less! He has added me to his blogroll after noticing I wasn't on it. Now the obvious question here is 'Why can't everyone out there realize their mistake and forthrightly correct it like Tim has?' Spot on Tim!
I have been listed under "Section Eights" on Mike the Marine's blogroll on the From the Halls of Montezuma to The Shores of Tripoli blog. Section Eight, that's a good thing, right Mike? I tell you those jarheads and their military terms like MRE, BDU, BR549, EIEIO and Section 8. Aren't they a hoot?
Bert over at Dreifuss.org has added a really cool button on his 'Button Only' Blogroll that directs hapless readers to my little outpost. The poor suckers.
------
Mr. Free Market across the pond at Free Market Fairy Tales - Post-links me on the Scrabble name meme thing when he was bored. I think my score was higher than everybodies. Of course my blog name IS freakin' long. So maybe its not fair.
Harvey at Bad Money - Post-linked about how I put him in his place and stuffed him in his locker and took his lunch money, so to speak.
Robert at llamabutcher - Postlinks about the Geek Quiz, I can't really read this blog's archives very easily
This rash of questionable link choices should have everyone and I mean everyone concerned. But I really do appreciate the general linkerousity of all concerned, whatever their misguided motivation.
SpaceMonkey Reports: NASA, Mars, Water and Stuff
NASA GIVES BRIEFING ABOUT MARS.
First let me get the big stuff out of the way.
In their briefing, NASA said that based on the evidence Rover Opportunity (MER-B) had gathered they are sure with a small degree of uncertainty that there was at one time liquid water somewhere on Mars. The evidence to that effect was pretty much all around and almost everywhere MER-B had been sniffing and grinding. They showed some nice panoramic images of the area and the rocks all look stratified to me, like they had been laid down by sediment buildup.
They said based on three pieces of evidence, which I don't remember off hand, that liquid water existed and made Mars habitable to life as we know it at some unspecified point in the past. Oh yeah, the three things that pointed at water were the stratified rock, the salts found in the pebble like objects and evidence of soluble material being leached out of the bedrock. If my memory serves me.
Later they took a few questions from the press folks who had gathered there and when asked if they could tell if the area was ever a lake they said they couldn't tell if this water action took place on the surface,as in standing water, or underground. I've never heard it postulated that sediment formed underground. I'm no expert on geology that's just my observation.
Now for the small stuff.
The press conference certainly did nothing to change the stereotype that space enthusiasts and/or scientists are geeks. Truly a geekier group would be hard to assemble than the team they put together for the briefing. I wish I had a picture of them to show you.
The graphics were cool. I especially liked the Mars Sample Return Mission animation.
Did they answer my questions about the images from before? Weellll, Yes and No
Yes:
The first picture, the one of objects looking like little spherical pellets, they called these things 'blueberries.' They said blueberries are, based on their sulfur content (they ground into a few), are little balls of Epsom salt like you'd buy at the drugstore to soak your feet in. I don't think Epsom salt comes as little balls, correct me if I'm wrong. Probably has to do with how dry they are there on Mars or something
NO:
The the second picture, the noodle looking thing they did not even address, unless they did it at the very beginning of the live feed, which I missed. A cover up? Who can tell?
When the briefing was over they put up the NASA logo reminiscent of a message from StarFleet Headquarters. I DID happen to screencap a shot of that.
What geeks we are. What geeks we are, I freakin' loved that part.
First let me get the big stuff out of the way.
In their briefing, NASA said that based on the evidence Rover Opportunity (MER-B) had gathered they are sure with a small degree of uncertainty that there was at one time liquid water somewhere on Mars. The evidence to that effect was pretty much all around and almost everywhere MER-B had been sniffing and grinding. They showed some nice panoramic images of the area and the rocks all look stratified to me, like they had been laid down by sediment buildup.
They said based on three pieces of evidence, which I don't remember off hand, that liquid water existed and made Mars habitable to life as we know it at some unspecified point in the past. Oh yeah, the three things that pointed at water were the stratified rock, the salts found in the pebble like objects and evidence of soluble material being leached out of the bedrock. If my memory serves me.
Later they took a few questions from the press folks who had gathered there and when asked if they could tell if the area was ever a lake they said they couldn't tell if this water action took place on the surface,as in standing water, or underground. I've never heard it postulated that sediment formed underground. I'm no expert on geology that's just my observation.
Now for the small stuff.
The press conference certainly did nothing to change the stereotype that space enthusiasts and/or scientists are geeks. Truly a geekier group would be hard to assemble than the team they put together for the briefing. I wish I had a picture of them to show you.
The graphics were cool. I especially liked the Mars Sample Return Mission animation.
Did they answer my questions about the images from before? Weellll, Yes and No
Yes:
The first picture, the one of objects looking like little spherical pellets, they called these things 'blueberries.' They said blueberries are, based on their sulfur content (they ground into a few), are little balls of Epsom salt like you'd buy at the drugstore to soak your feet in. I don't think Epsom salt comes as little balls, correct me if I'm wrong. Probably has to do with how dry they are there on Mars or something
NO:
The the second picture, the noodle looking thing they did not even address, unless they did it at the very beginning of the live feed, which I missed. A cover up? Who can tell?
When the briefing was over they put up the NASA logo reminiscent of a message from StarFleet Headquarters. I DID happen to screencap a shot of that.
What geeks we are. What geeks we are, I freakin' loved that part.
Coming up Today
My take on yesterdays big NASA Mars water press conference and few other choice pieces of trivial nonsense.
Tuesday
FSMC is Formatting funky today in your browser.
My CSS file is not loading for some reason. I'm looking into it.
Update: ok got a temp fix going, blasted comcast. Thanks Shane.
Update: ok got a temp fix going, blasted comcast. Thanks Shane.
NASA to Announce "Significant Findings" regarding Water on Mars Tuesday
Read more here
Hey, that's today! Cool! Then maybe they will explain what these are.
and what this is
Hey, that's today! Cool! Then maybe they will explain what these are.
and what this is
Apprentice 2
Don't do it. Don't give him the chance to tell you "YOU'RE FIRED"
He'll fire you in front of everyone on TV and to make it worse president Bush will make no effort to stop him.
You have been warned.....
He'll fire you in front of everyone on TV and to make it worse president Bush will make no effort to stop him.
You have been warned.....
Sunday
Henchmen Wanted: Apply at SpaceMonkey Island
I am 69% Evil Genius
Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.
Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com
Buwahahahhahahaha, My legions are.....legion! [wrings wrists] Did I mention I invented the internet?
Hat tip to Steve.
Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.
Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com
Buwahahahhahahaha, My legions are.....legion! [wrings wrists] Did I mention I invented the internet?
Hat tip to Steve.
Water At A Red Planet Near You?
Mars: A Water World? Evidence Mounts, But Scientists Remain Tight-Lipped
From their shutupedness, it looks likes NASA might actually have some news forthcoming about water on Mars. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
From their shutupedness, it looks likes NASA might actually have some news forthcoming about water on Mars. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
MSNBC Reports on Poll That Blogging Still Infrequent, Well, Duh!
Blogging still infrequent, study finds
Inconceivable!
I really just don't see how that's possible.
But seriously, how many people started home newspapers or newsletters when they had all the tools they needed: Intel 386 home computers, text editors, MS paintbrush and color dotmatrix printers? A few, to be sure. But why not 100%? Well, it's like any undertaking, costs (time, money) were too high or interest in the effort is too low or the concept doesn't fit into their world view. Today when I talk to most people about weblogs I usually get that puzzled, head cocked to the side look You know the one. It's the "You have a what? A blawg? That like some sort of blue dawg?" look. With blogs you get it or you don't. Maybe more accurately, you get it, immediately, you won't get it, ever or you will get it, eventually.
I fell into the you WILL get it, later bucket.
At first I just read my friend Shane's blog and then shortly after that another friend Steve's blog. Then I branched out from there and read a few other blogs that they had linked to on their blog rolls and then a few further out from there. Some I liked that continued to draw me back and of course many I never returned to. But I found myself in awe of the potential of this mode of communication. I wanted to join this community to have my voice heard, my words read, but I needed a little push.
Shane started to talk to me about starting my own blog. He finally talked me into it when his head shaking reaction about my choice of blog names told me it was odd enough to merit my efforts. And then this freak show began. Luckily, I've had a good bit of technical support from Shane, most it seems have to go it alone. I don't get the traffic some do, but then, I recognize I am an acquired taste. I have to grow on people just like the idea of keeping an online journal had to grow on me.
But the communication is happening, Now that I have started doing this I don't know that I could stop. I am compelled to try to improve every aspect of my little enterprise here and also to try to reach a wider and maybe even weirder readership.
It takes time, it's a growth thing. Give us all some time, we're going it relatively alone. It brings to mind a quote, what's that quote about how long it took to build Rome? Yeah, that's the one.
Despite the potential of turning every Internet user into a publisher, relatively few have created Web journals called blogs and even fewer do so with regularly, a new study finds.What? You mean people with jobs other than publishing or writing aren't publishing and writing more than fulltime publishers and writers with their cadre of support employees who do editing, fact checking and layout?
Some bloggers indeed update their journals often, in some cases several times a day. But it's clearly a minority who are taking advantage of the blog and its potential to steer the online discourse with personal musings about news events and daily life.
Inconceivable!
I really just don't see how that's possible.
But seriously, how many people started home newspapers or newsletters when they had all the tools they needed: Intel 386 home computers, text editors, MS paintbrush and color dotmatrix printers? A few, to be sure. But why not 100%? Well, it's like any undertaking, costs (time, money) were too high or interest in the effort is too low or the concept doesn't fit into their world view. Today when I talk to most people about weblogs I usually get that puzzled, head cocked to the side look You know the one. It's the "You have a what? A blawg? That like some sort of blue dawg?" look. With blogs you get it or you don't. Maybe more accurately, you get it, immediately, you won't get it, ever or you will get it, eventually.
I fell into the you WILL get it, later bucket.
At first I just read my friend Shane's blog and then shortly after that another friend Steve's blog. Then I branched out from there and read a few other blogs that they had linked to on their blog rolls and then a few further out from there. Some I liked that continued to draw me back and of course many I never returned to. But I found myself in awe of the potential of this mode of communication. I wanted to join this community to have my voice heard, my words read, but I needed a little push.
Shane started to talk to me about starting my own blog. He finally talked me into it when his head shaking reaction about my choice of blog names told me it was odd enough to merit my efforts. And then this freak show began. Luckily, I've had a good bit of technical support from Shane, most it seems have to go it alone. I don't get the traffic some do, but then, I recognize I am an acquired taste. I have to grow on people just like the idea of keeping an online journal had to grow on me.
But the communication is happening, Now that I have started doing this I don't know that I could stop. I am compelled to try to improve every aspect of my little enterprise here and also to try to reach a wider and maybe even weirder readership.
It takes time, it's a growth thing. Give us all some time, we're going it relatively alone. It brings to mind a quote, what's that quote about how long it took to build Rome? Yeah, that's the one.
Scrabble© Rouser
Pholph's Scrabble Generator                  My Scrabble© Score is: 60. What is your score? Get it here. |
hyuck hyuck
Update: Whoops forgot to credit Bryan, found at Arguing With Signposts
Friday
Feedback
I am considering giving the subject of Monseur Heinz as Harvey calls him, a rest from my persistant however dull wit.
Gentle reader, In a bold and selfless move I'm asking you for your opinion on the matter. To that end I ask you to buck up your courage and read at least two or three of the fake news stories I've written recently (there's some funny in there somewhere, so keep going till you find it) before letting me know what you think.
If you think I've worn the topic out and should find another untapped well, tell me where you think I should direct my groundbreaking, subtle and undefined brand ofswamp bilge humor.
Tell me 'Kerry is the thinking man's Darth Sidious' or something similar, if the Kerry thing is working for ya.
Or "Stick a banana in it monkey boy, this blog blows chunks" If you think the mothership should come back to collect her son.
People of Earth, what do you say? Let your voice be heard! Drop me a comment. I'mcommentwhoring listening.
Update: To comment, click on the 'Speak you Monkeys' link below this post, it's orange.
Update again: Duh, I forgot the label on the comments link changes when I actuallyget a comment then it beceomes '(#) trained monkeys speak.' Oh and thanks for the advice so far.
Gentle reader, In a bold and selfless move I'm asking you for your opinion on the matter. To that end I ask you to buck up your courage and read at least two or three of the fake news stories I've written recently (there's some funny in there somewhere, so keep going till you find it) before letting me know what you think.
If you think I've worn the topic out and should find another untapped well, tell me where you think I should direct my groundbreaking, subtle and undefined brand of
Tell me 'Kerry is the thinking man's Darth Sidious' or something similar, if the Kerry thing is working for ya.
Or "Stick a banana in it monkey boy, this blog blows chunks" If you think the mothership should come back to collect her son.
People of Earth, what do you say? Let your voice be heard! Drop me a comment. I'm
Update: To comment, click on the 'Speak you Monkeys' link below this post, it's orange.
Update again: Duh, I forgot the label on the comments link changes when I actually
Kerry `Against` `For`
Presidential hopeful John Kerry (D - Massachusetts), today has finalized his political stance on the hotly debated topic 'For.' Persons close to the candidate say they are pretty sure he's against it.
Kerry himself says "'For,' the topic at hand is at the epitome of the demagoguery of idealogues. The position I have now and indeed always have carried regarding 'For', is, my Viet Nam war record not withstanding, that many, or perhaps even a quorum, you could say of the Senate, or in another sense the UN Security Council, one could postulate, that, ipso facto, ad valorum, ceteras parabas, quid pro quo, Voulez vou coucher avec moi, se soir?. And in that I am just like the working Americans trying to build a better life for their families, give or take a few millions in ketchup money."
His top campaign officers assure us he was not speaking to Ms Polier, specifically and also that Kerry did take a position in his statement, though there is a disagreement amongst their ranks about exactly what that position was. Of them 4 out of 7 agree they think he said he was against 'For', 2 thought Bush was actually Hitler and the seventh said 'Where's my free ketchup? I was promised free ketchup.'
A team of experts has yet to yield independent confirmation of any of this.
In a related story, Senator Kerry has announced he's almost ready to firm up his position on the other burning issue, 'Against' and will 'speak' on the 'subject' 'later' this 'week'.
This fake news story brought to you by gazelles. Remember friends, gazelles don't say anything, they don't have voiceboxes.
Kerry himself says "'For,' the topic at hand is at the epitome of the demagoguery of idealogues. The position I have now and indeed always have carried regarding 'For', is, my Viet Nam war record not withstanding, that many, or perhaps even a quorum, you could say of the Senate, or in another sense the UN Security Council, one could postulate, that, ipso facto, ad valorum, ceteras parabas, quid pro quo, Voulez vou coucher avec moi, se soir?. And in that I am just like the working Americans trying to build a better life for their families, give or take a few millions in ketchup money."
His top campaign officers assure us he was not speaking to Ms Polier, specifically and also that Kerry did take a position in his statement, though there is a disagreement amongst their ranks about exactly what that position was. Of them 4 out of 7 agree they think he said he was against 'For', 2 thought Bush was actually Hitler and the seventh said 'Where's my free ketchup? I was promised free ketchup.'
A team of experts has yet to yield independent confirmation of any of this.
In a related story, Senator Kerry has announced he's almost ready to firm up his position on the other burning issue, 'Against' and will 'speak' on the 'subject' 'later' this 'week'.
This fake news story brought to you by gazelles. Remember friends, gazelles don't say anything, they don't have voiceboxes.
Wednesday
Kerry Affronted At `Flip Flop` Flap
Responding to critics that he has 'flip flopped' on several issues for which he has been visibly critical of President Bush yet supported vocally as well as with his vote in the Senate, Democratic hopeful Sen. John Kerry (D- Massachusetts) had the following rebuttal:
"I have never flip flopped on any issue. To me the concept of a flip flop is cheap, common, vulgar and is a blatant unpatriotic attack on my spotless war record. And we never, ever flip flopped in Viet Nam during the war. "
"I may clog up the issues. I may slide here and there regarding an issue or two. I may at times sandal about an issue if I so choose. Yet, I would prefer to be considered one who Birkenstock's frequently and expensively on the issues, any issue. But this accusation that I 'flip flop' [spits], sacre bleu! moi? no, no, no! I apologise for being such a mule about this.
This fake news story brought to you by Kerry Flip Flops. Remember friends, Kerry Flip Flops with their patented 'waffled sole', provide the perfect balance of support, or not, you need in casual footwear. They come in PAC's of one, so use one on whichever leg you are trying to stand at the moment.
"I have never flip flopped on any issue. To me the concept of a flip flop is cheap, common, vulgar and is a blatant unpatriotic attack on my spotless war record. And we never, ever flip flopped in Viet Nam during the war. "
"I may clog up the issues. I may slide here and there regarding an issue or two. I may at times sandal about an issue if I so choose. Yet, I would prefer to be considered one who Birkenstock's frequently and expensively on the issues, any issue. But this accusation that I 'flip flop' [spits], sacre bleu! moi? no, no, no! I apologise for being such a mule about this.
This fake news story brought to you by Kerry Flip Flops. Remember friends, Kerry Flip Flops with their patented 'waffled sole', provide the perfect balance of support, or not, you need in casual footwear. They come in PAC's of one, so use one on whichever leg you are trying to stand at the moment.
Tuesday
W00h00 ! @m 40% 633k!
I am 40% Geek
You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.
Take the Geek Test at fuali.com
-I guess to be 100%, one would have to write their own linux kernal, alone, during a marathon caffeine-laden coding session and not even desire the ability communicate verbally.
For those of you thinking of taking the test. wait till after you take it to click the following. all about l337
@nd N0 p33k!n6!
Update: Oh yeah, I went and got me some of that there trackback. Thanks Haloscan. Track it out!
Update: Thanks to Shane for point this out to me on Steve's Website.
You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.
Take the Geek Test at fuali.com
-I guess to be 100%, one would have to write their own linux kernal, alone, during a marathon caffeine-laden coding session and not even desire the ability communicate verbally.
For those of you thinking of taking the test. wait till after you take it to click the following. all about l337
@nd N0 p33k!n6!
Update: Oh yeah, I went and got me some of that there trackback. Thanks Haloscan. Track it out!
Update: Thanks to Shane for point this out to me on Steve's Website.
New World Created: Reactions Abound
The BBC reports the US Army has created or is creating a new Earth.
Already reactions are pouring in, predictably. Here's a sample.
Official UN Press release: The US should have asked for the international community's approval to create this new world. Unilateral actions like this will result in many, many carefully worded yet only vaguely threatening resolutions to follow this release.
Terry Mcauliff of the DNC: "It will be a glorious world, a worker's paradise and to think it was built using gloriously collected taxes by a government agency. Ooooh, just glorious. I think I messed my pants."
Ralph Nader: "The first thing this new world needs is a law against cor-po-wa-tions, insipid evil cor-po-wa-tions, then the second thing it needs is a law against any more laws. On second thought, there should no plans to put humans there at all. They, I mean, WE would just pollute it."
Al Gore: "The.....Army... creating.... a..... world,.... a..... so.... called..... new..... Earth..... is..... an..... achievement..... akin.... in.... many.... ways...... to..... my...... creating.... the.... inter" quote ends, correspondent slipped into coma.
More as this story unfolds....
This fake news story brought to you by The Man. Remember friends, The Man says 'Get Back To Work!! Or The Beatings WILL Resume!!'
Already reactions are pouring in, predictably. Here's a sample.
Official UN Press release: The US should have asked for the international community's approval to create this new world. Unilateral actions like this will result in many, many carefully worded yet only vaguely threatening resolutions to follow this release.
Terry Mcauliff of the DNC: "It will be a glorious world, a worker's paradise and to think it was built using gloriously collected taxes by a government agency. Ooooh, just glorious. I think I messed my pants."
Ralph Nader: "The first thing this new world needs is a law against cor-po-wa-tions, insipid evil cor-po-wa-tions, then the second thing it needs is a law against any more laws. On second thought, there should no plans to put humans there at all. They, I mean, WE would just pollute it."
Al Gore: "The.....Army... creating.... a..... world,.... a..... so.... called..... new..... Earth..... is..... an..... achievement..... akin.... in.... many.... ways...... to..... my...... creating.... the.... inter" quote ends, correspondent slipped into coma.
More as this story unfolds....
This fake news story brought to you by The Man. Remember friends, The Man says 'Get Back To Work!! Or The Beatings WILL Resume!!'
Monday
Over 93 Percent Jobless Rate Predicted
Another person in New York lost their job this week in the most public way possible, on broadcast television. The job loss marks the seventh of the 'season' and was announced in advance as were the other 6. President Bush said he plans to add 2.6 million new jobs this year. Yet estimates from the Trump corporation are that a total of 15 out of 16 Trump employees will have lost their jobs when the round of firing is over. That is more than a 93% reduction of force and is severe by anyones measure. There is no word from the White House to move forward with any plan to stop the hemmoraging of jobs from Trump Industries.
Week after week, CEO Donald Trump continues to fire employees as America's TV viewing populace is powerless to stop him. With the current administration in the White House seemingly indifferent to the plight of Trump employees, the bleeding off of American Jobs is sure to continue.
This fake news story brought to you by Donald Trump. Remember friends, Donald Trump says 'YOU'RE FIRED!'
Week after week, CEO Donald Trump continues to fire employees as America's TV viewing populace is powerless to stop him. With the current administration in the White House seemingly indifferent to the plight of Trump employees, the bleeding off of American Jobs is sure to continue.
This fake news story brought to you by Donald Trump. Remember friends, Donald Trump says 'YOU'RE FIRED!'
Sunday
Libertas Rodentia
Is it my imagination or is there a lot of mouse imagery used in this report on the outcome of the Libertarian Party Wisconsin primary?
I know Wisconsin is known as the "cheese state" but c'mon, that was just a wee bit TOO cheesy.
I know Wisconsin is known as the "cheese state" but c'mon, that was just a wee bit TOO cheesy.
Blame Bush
I laughed till I cried. I Blame bush
Priceless
He looked at me as if I had just crawled out from a sack of wet squirrels.
Priceless
Saturday
Rex Hammock meets the POTUS
Maybe I dont get out much but I've never read this guy before today.
But freak!
You gotta read this. He got to meet W! And wrote very eloquently about it to boot.
My favorite part?
But freak!
You gotta read this. He got to meet W! And wrote very eloquently about it to boot.
My favorite part?
If George W. Bush could spend 25 minutes chatting with everybody in America like he did with me and five other folks today, he would win any election by a landslide.
Bush `Troubled` by Necrophi1iac Marriage Issue, Kerry `Confused`
Bush 'Troubled' by Necrophi1iac Marriage Issue
Washington - President Bush said Wednesday he was troubled by weddings between the living and the dead in Kansas City and by legal decisions in Iowa that could clear the way for necrophi1iac marriage. "
"I have watched carefully what's happening in Kansas City, where licenses were being issued, even though Missouri law states otherwise," Bush said. "I have consistently stated that I'll support law to protect marriage between one living man and one living woman who are not descended from one another and farm animals, farm implements nor the dead should be involved either. Obviously these events are influencing my decision."
He didn't answer to say if he was nearer to giving support of a constitutional ammendment to forbid necrophi1iac marriages, as conservative groups say the White House has assured them the president will do.
Presidential Hopeful Sen. John Kerry expressed support for those who choose the necriphi1iac lifestyle, but said he thought the issue of marriages between the living and the dead should in the perogitive of the individual states. "Really, I'm confused, who's being harmed here? I mean, they aren't going to get any deader are they?", Kerry deadpanned.
This fake news story brought to you by France. Remember friends, French people say "American, you want marry dead person? No? Come to France."
Washington - President Bush said Wednesday he was troubled by weddings between the living and the dead in Kansas City and by legal decisions in Iowa that could clear the way for necrophi1iac marriage. "
"I have watched carefully what's happening in Kansas City, where licenses were being issued, even though Missouri law states otherwise," Bush said. "I have consistently stated that I'll support law to protect marriage between one living man and one living woman who are not descended from one another and farm animals, farm implements nor the dead should be involved either. Obviously these events are influencing my decision."
He didn't answer to say if he was nearer to giving support of a constitutional ammendment to forbid necrophi1iac marriages, as conservative groups say the White House has assured them the president will do.
Presidential Hopeful Sen. John Kerry expressed support for those who choose the necriphi1iac lifestyle, but said he thought the issue of marriages between the living and the dead should in the perogitive of the individual states. "Really, I'm confused, who's being harmed here? I mean, they aren't going to get any deader are they?", Kerry deadpanned.
This fake news story brought to you by France. Remember friends, French people say "American, you want marry dead person? No? Come to France."
Friday
Truthlation of "A Message from Governor Dean"
Since I hear Dean was finally bugging out, bailing and ditching his quest for galactic empire. I thought I would see what the Dean for America blog was saying, if anything, at this late date. I found A Message from Governor Dean But there were some just plain bs misleading or delusional statements so I, in the public interest, did a Truthlation of the message.
Truthlation? Mwhuh?, you say? Well, mwhuh indeed.
In case you are wondering what the freak a truthlation is, a Truthlation is similar to a fisking. Instead of a stinging rebuttal following the quote, what follows is the translation to truth*, saying what the person would have said if they were being more forthcoming and honest, even to themselves. Hence Truthlation. (Look ma, I coined a phrase.)
Truthlation('A Message from Governor Dean')
See, isn't the truth* better? Now I feel better. Don't you?
Sidenote: I'm kinda sad Dean has quit, he was fun before his keepers put the leash on, or he went back to the factory or whatever.
* as I see it.
Truthlation? Mwhuh?, you say? Well, mwhuh indeed.
In case you are wondering what the freak a truthlation is, a Truthlation is similar to a fisking. Instead of a stinging rebuttal following the quote, what follows is the translation to truth*, saying what the person would have said if they were being more forthcoming and honest, even to themselves. Hence Truthlation. (Look ma, I coined a phrase.)
Truthlation('A Message from Governor Dean')
Governor Dean sent the following message to supporters tonight.Ex-Governor Dean sent the following message, after the original message was reviewed to ensure any 'Captain Insano routine' bits were deleted, to supporters tonight.
You folks are the best!You folks are the best bunch of losers to ever help me lose a campaign!
I hope you will all keep active both in our new enterprise as we develop it, but also in the short term.I hope you let me finish ruining your lives, you're all fairly young and I think I can make a few more bucks off you yet.
We can still send delegates to the convention, and we should.We're not through losing here. Our defeat has just begun! The crushing blow of death still looms ahead! Our defeat will be final and while maybe not not fatal, perhaps maimal, is that a word, when it comes and it should.
If you are in a state with district, and state conventions, please make sure everyone goes, so that we send all the delegates we are entitled to.Ok I'm begging now, I have got just a few bucks left. Go work and support my losing cause but now with no campaign ads.
If you are in a state that has not yet voted, be sure to vote. We'll have a great time at the convention.If you are in a state that has not yet voted, still vote, for me. At the convention, I'm buying iced mocha latte`s with a dash of cinnamon for everyone, with your own donations! And By the way I do this great insane guy impression. Oh, you've seen it.
Thank you for all the, now meaningless, help you provided in my defeat, really. and thanks for all the nickel amd dime donations too.
Thank you all for how hard you have worked, how much money you raised.
And thanks for getting involved.Thanks for nothing.
It feels a h*ll of a lot better to try and lose, than not to try at all.Hahaha Hillary, how many democratic presidential nominations have YOU lost? I'm king of the WORLD, Wahoo!
In any case I have to say that I don't really feel like we have lost.In any case I have to say that I am an idiot, still unable to accept defeat even though that is all there is for me to accept.
We only lose if we quit.We lost, I quit. I'd LOVE to think we didn't quit, and we just dropped out but we got our stuff handed to us in a neatly wrapped package.
There is an enormous amount of power in numbers, and we can still change this country (and that is exactly what we're going to do!).There is an enormous amount of power in numbers. For instance the number zero when refering to the number of states I finished first in has the enormous power to make me quit. You see, there's an even more enormous amount of power in larger numbers. Yeaaaarwhatever.
Many thanks,Shutting up now,
Howard DeanHoward Dean
See, isn't the truth* better? Now I feel better. Don't you?
Sidenote: I'm kinda sad Dean has quit, he was fun before his keepers put the leash on, or he went back to the factory or whatever.
* as I see it.
Wednesday
Kerry-Polier 2004 - Revisited
Harvey of bad money has suggested (for reasons that best go unmentioned, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, this never happens to me, honest!) that we demand a '7 *second*' interval documentation of their lives instead of the seven minute version I mentioned recently.
I want to emphasize those are his asterisks, not mine. The quotation marks (') are mine but as to the asterisks, those are definitely Harvey's. With that issue settled, we now return back to topic.
Harvey,
We could ask for that (7 *second*s) right now but kind, friendly, naive Harvey, that would cut practically to the end of our accusations of deception and our fingerpointing fun.
You see, Following the Terry Mcauliff Scandal Handbook 2004 Release the plan is we get the 7 minute version, pretend to peruse it for a millisecond or two and THEN declare/demand, in order,
"Hey, what are you hiding here? There are 6 minute 59 second gaps between every entry."
"Where's the video coverage?"
"Why is there no independent confirmation of the 10:33am restroom entry of July 3rd, 1989?"
"Where are the botox treatment entries?"
"What is NOT in here says more than what IS in here!"
"What'sBUSH Kerry covering up?"
"Fake medals!"
"Wink."
"NUDGE!!!"
Then we demand and get the one minute version and keep going and keep going untilKerry Bush is elected or some other more scandalous scandal is generated from all of this sewermongering.
Be patient, Harvey, we'll get the 7 *second* version, don't you worry. Don't you worry.
I want to emphasize those are his asterisks, not mine. The quotation marks (') are mine but as to the asterisks, those are definitely Harvey's. With that issue settled, we now return back to topic.
Harvey,
We could ask for that (7 *second*s) right now but kind, friendly, naive Harvey, that would cut practically to the end of our accusations of deception and our fingerpointing fun.
You see, Following the Terry Mcauliff Scandal Handbook 2004 Release the plan is we get the 7 minute version, pretend to peruse it for a millisecond or two and THEN declare/demand, in order,
"Hey, what are you hiding here? There are 6 minute 59 second gaps between every entry."
"Where's the video coverage?"
"Why is there no independent confirmation of the 10:33am restroom entry of July 3rd, 1989?"
"Where are the botox treatment entries?"
"What is NOT in here says more than what IS in here!"
"What's
"Fake medals!"
"Wink."
"NUDGE!!!"
Then we demand and get the one minute version and keep going and keep going until
Be patient, Harvey, we'll get the 7 *second* version, don't you worry.
Tuesday
Kerry Complicit Concerning Communist Contribution Connection? NBC News Nut Nixes Notion Neatly
In what can only be termed AlliterationGate, an NBC producer reports in a MSNBC article that Chinese arms money was funneled through Kerry's Senate reelection campaign. Get this, Kerry is repeatedly defended in the article not surprisingly by the journalist reporting the story.
Case in point, first Kerry is characterized thusly
Is this a quality we want in a commander in chief? Someone who believes everything he's told? Until he's told things are otherwise and cries foul? Then whines ' I was misled, MISLED'. Never mind you are not being lied to if the person speaking is speaking the truth as they know it.
A lie lies in the intent behind the words, not in the words themselves.
Ok that was a little serious, So let me end this by saying 'Commie Cong Kerry Keeps Corrupt Campaign Coin 'Cause Contributors Can't Contradict Currency Kookamonga Curry Chicken'
Case in point, first Kerry is characterized thusly
Senator John Kerry, D-MA, unwittingly tried to help a Chinese espionage agent and arms dealer in 1996Yes, of course it was unwittingly that seems to be the emerging theme of his life.
[There is no evidence Kerry knew of the illegality.]Ok, that's a relief, but too bad that's not a valid defense, lack of proof does not equate to proof of lack...WHOOPS...Sorry folks, I thought for a minute there we were talking about a Republican, Never mind. Innocence presumption resumed. Now, where was I?
Kerry could not have known, until Chung pleaded guilty and began talking to investigators in March, 1998, that the money he needed so desperately back then was taintedOf course he couldn't have known, he's just really repeatedly easily duped and the money, hey, he needed the money.
Is this a quality we want in a commander in chief? Someone who believes everything he's told? Until he's told things are otherwise and cries foul? Then whines ' I was misled,
A lie
Ok that was a little serious, So let me end this by saying 'Commie Cong Kerry Keeps Corrupt Campaign Coin 'Cause Contributors Can't Contradict Currency Kookamonga Curry Chicken'
With AOLgate Seemingly Past, Choppergate Erupts
Today Democratic Presidential hopeful Sen. John Kerry attacked the president's disclosure in the AOLgate scandal, at a rally in Wisconsin where a primary is taking place today.
Kerry says "Bush misled us about who was in the AOL commercials. Bush previously has admitted he doesn't read the newspaper. Well, {chuckles} apparently he doesn't read the TV Guide either. "
{Kerry chuckles some more}
"He faux pased when he said those were cast members of something called 'West Coast Choppers',when the record clearly shows the Discovery Channel show is 'American Chopper'."
The show features the employees of the family-owned Orange County Choppers who build custom motorcycles.
Kerry continued, "I watch the show all the time and am a big fan. But Bush obviously doesn't know anything about American pop culture and Bush obviously doesn't know anything about choppers. I, for one, know all about choppers; because I flew in a great big green one when I was leaving Vietnam, with all my medals."
This fake news story brought to you by Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys. Remember friends, Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys say 'No unilateral deployment!, No freedom for Oil! We preemptively surrender! Vote Kerry!*'
* No, don't really vote Kerry - ed. Thanks, Mike the Marine
Kerry says "Bush misled us about who was in the AOL commercials. Bush previously has admitted he doesn't read the newspaper. Well, {chuckles} apparently he doesn't read the TV Guide either. "
{Kerry chuckles some more}
"He faux pased when he said those were cast members of something called 'West Coast Choppers',when the record clearly shows the Discovery Channel show is 'American Chopper'."
The show features the employees of the family-owned Orange County Choppers who build custom motorcycles.
Kerry continued, "I watch the show all the time and am a big fan. But Bush obviously doesn't know anything about American pop culture and Bush obviously doesn't know anything about choppers. I, for one, know all about choppers; because I flew in a great big green one when I was leaving Vietnam, with all my medals."
This fake news story brought to you by Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys. Remember friends, Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys say 'No unilateral deployment!, No freedom for Oil! We preemptively surrender! Vote Kerry!*'
* No, don't really vote Kerry - ed. Thanks, Mike the Marine
BUSH-AOL link confirmed
Under fire of most hurtful accusations to date, George W. Bush, this morning released his complete credit card records to the public domain. Examination of the records reveals a late December 2003 payment was made to an account linked to the accounts receivable department of the TimeWarner media conglomerate holding 'America Online', also known as AOL.
This afternoon, President Bush, in a prepared statement, admitted he had been connected to AOL in the past.
" I was drawn in by AOL's cool commercials involving the cast of West Coast Choppers. Watching those guys argue and build custom choppers is great fun. They are great Americans living the Great American Dream. Also the speed that was promised during those commercials was quite enticing. I had hoped to fast forward to November and hurry up and thrash any French looking treasonmongerin' opponent I might happen to face in the General Elections.
I canceled the AOL account when I realized it was slower to connect than a left leanin' media outlet connects to a French kissin' scandal. Ok, that was unfair, AOL WOULD connect in less than two days. Anyway, I'm goin' broadband. Pro'bly cable."
This reporter for one, is glad to put this ugly ugly,chapter behind us.
This fake news story brought to you by BIG Cable Internet. Remember friends, BIG Cable Internet says 'Dialup bites and AOL sucks'
This afternoon, President Bush, in a prepared statement, admitted he had been connected to AOL in the past.
" I was drawn in by AOL's cool commercials involving the cast of West Coast Choppers. Watching those guys argue and build custom choppers is great fun. They are great Americans living the Great American Dream. Also the speed that was promised during those commercials was quite enticing. I had hoped to fast forward to November and hurry up and thrash any French looking treasonmongerin' opponent I might happen to face in the General Elections.
I canceled the AOL account when I realized it was slower to connect than a left leanin' media outlet connects to a French kissin' scandal. Ok, that was unfair, AOL WOULD connect in less than two days. Anyway, I'm goin' broadband. Pro'bly cable."
This reporter for one, is glad to put this ugly ugly,chapter behind us.
This fake news story brought to you by BIG Cable Internet. Remember friends, BIG Cable Internet says 'Dialup bites and AOL sucks'
Monday
Kerry-Polier 2004
Hey now, no fair, We all need to drop this 'Kerry/affair' story. We really need to just drop it.
And we will drop it as soon as Kerry and Polier account for every minute of every day of their lives so that we might be able to categorically know for CERTAIN that they were never left unsupervised together for more than say 7 minutes. That way we'll know nothing ever happened and there won't appear to be any sort of double standard.
She says:
He could be slipping off to Kenya every night.
And we will drop it as soon as Kerry and Polier account for every minute of every day of their lives so that we might be able to categorically know for CERTAIN that they were never left unsupervised together for more than say 7 minutes. That way we'll know nothing ever happened and there won't appear to be any sort of double standard.
She says:
"I have never had a relationship with Senator Kerry, and the rumors in the press are completely false."and also
"I never interned or worked for John Kerry," she told AP over the phone.Notice, how what she said was all in the past tense, 'Never had' and 'Never interned or worked'. I mean, great Scott Ott!, she completely forgot to deny it in the present time! This could be going on now!!!! NOW!!!
He could be slipping off to Kenya every night.
Plastic Turkey!
Go James Lileks!
I...can't...breath,...too...freakin'...funny.....Plastic turkey!
Don't forget, Bush lowered taxes! No wait, that's one they want us to forget.
And their cries of 'Free Saddam Now! Free Saddam Now! FREE SADDAM NOW!' ring out from the hills to the sea don't they?
The delusions of their fringe have become articles of faith for the mainstream. Bush was AWOL! Bush knew! Bush lied! Bush never flosses! Skull and Bones! Plastic turkey!
I...can't...breath,...too...freakin'...funny.....Plastic turkey!
Don't forget, Bush lowered taxes! No wait, that's one they want us to forget.
And their cries of 'Free Saddam Now! Free Saddam Now! FREE SADDAM NOW!' ring out from the hills to the sea don't they?
Saturday
Happy Migraine Day
I spent the whole day in bed today dealing with a supersized headache.
Hope yours was better.
Update: I guess I did get that nap and even the face numbing! BUt I'm all better now thanks.
Hope yours was better.
Update: I guess I did get that nap and even the face numbing! BUt I'm all better now thanks.
Friday
My Funny Bone is Broken
My funny bone is broken. Not only do I feel nothing I've tried to post this week is remotely funny (I've deleted at least 5 posts), I can't seem to find the humor in things I would normally find funny. For example, I watched Friends last night. I hardly even smiled through the whole thing. My lovely and adoring Karen, sitting beside me was laughing on and off during the whole show. Admittedly the show does seem to be trying to be more poignant and introspective during it's final season, but still, I'm thinking, Hey, I should be laughing at this stuff, What's wrong with me?.
That was when I realized my funny bone is broken.
I laughed just once today. One good long hard laugh today when talking to my boss. I said 'If things keep going the way they are going, I was going to turn into [the CEO of our corporation]'. He laughed. I thought he was laughing because he thought I meant I was about to stage a coup d`corp to become CEO of our corporation (HAH, I would laugh at that too, if I could laugh that is) I attempted to recover saying 'I mean, I am becoming [CEO'S Name]esque'. Which, come to think of it, is actually to say devoid of humor. Think Donald Trump, eating lemons.
My boss said 'I thought you meant when you are leaving today you were going to sit and wait till you saw [CEO] crossing the parking lot and then', pantomiming hands on a steering wheel, "Turn into him'
That I laughed at.
I can laugh at the thought of someone being ran over by a mid sized SUV but not at the Daybyday cartoon, not at Friends or my other usual humor inputs. How sick is that?
To make thing worse, my usually deep well of conversational witicisms is drier than Joe Lieberman reading a white paper on html, in hex.
When, I'm being spoken to, I just nod and agree, nod and agree, nod and agree or sometimes I shake my head, not to disagree mind you, just when it seems I need to shake my head based on the tone of the other person's voice. No fiery repartee or abrupt changing of subjects to something tangentially similar but only just barely so. Just nod or shake.
No. No, my wits are so dull it actually hurts to try to use them. My funny bone aches when I try to put any weight on it.
My energy, adrenaline, strength has outsourced to India. Gone. Even caffeine, dear sweet caffeine, doesn't fully wake me up I relegated the wisp of energy I get from caffeine to more mundane tasks of life. Such as keeping my heart beating, and my lungs filling and emptying. Anymore to ask of caffeine is too much.
I'll gonna get my funny bone put in a nice cast and then, then I'm going to take a stone cold, dead serious,face numbing nap. And while I nap, I'm going to try to dream of making monkey noises and relive the golden days when I laughed with and at others.
I'm going for that nap now, Wake me in November if you don't mind.
Update: Mike the Marine has diagnosed me with beal
That was when I realized my funny bone is broken.
I laughed just once today. One good long hard laugh today when talking to my boss. I said 'If things keep going the way they are going, I was going to turn into [the CEO of our corporation]'. He laughed. I thought he was laughing because he thought I meant I was about to stage a coup d`corp to become CEO of our corporation (HAH, I would laugh at that too, if I could laugh that is) I attempted to recover saying 'I mean, I am becoming [CEO'S Name]esque'. Which, come to think of it, is actually to say devoid of humor. Think Donald Trump, eating lemons.
My boss said 'I thought you meant when you are leaving today you were going to sit and wait till you saw [CEO] crossing the parking lot and then', pantomiming hands on a steering wheel, "Turn into him'
That I laughed at.
I can laugh at the thought of someone being ran over by a mid sized SUV but not at the Daybyday cartoon, not at Friends or my other usual humor inputs. How sick is that?
To make thing worse, my usually deep well of conversational witicisms is drier than Joe Lieberman reading a white paper on html, in hex.
When, I'm being spoken to, I just nod and agree, nod and agree, nod and agree or sometimes I shake my head, not to disagree mind you, just when it seems I need to shake my head based on the tone of the other person's voice. No fiery repartee or abrupt changing of subjects to something tangentially similar but only just barely so. Just nod or shake.
No. No, my wits are so dull it actually hurts to try to use them. My funny bone aches when I try to put any weight on it.
My energy, adrenaline, strength has outsourced to India. Gone. Even caffeine, dear sweet caffeine, doesn't fully wake me up I relegated the wisp of energy I get from caffeine to more mundane tasks of life. Such as keeping my heart beating, and my lungs filling and emptying. Anymore to ask of caffeine is too much.
I'll gonna get my funny bone put in a nice cast and then, then I'm going to take a stone cold, dead serious,face numbing nap. And while I nap, I'm going to try to dream of making monkey noises and relive the golden days when I laughed with and at others.
I'm going for that nap now, Wake me in November if you don't mind.
Update: Mike the Marine has diagnosed me with beal
Thursday
My views/opinions/posts whatever.
The views expressed on this website/weblog are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer.from here.
My views/opinions/posts whatever, are just that, mine They do not necessarily express the company policy of the company for which I work or the individuals to which I report. I might be wrong, I might be right, I might be crazy or I might just be mad. No warranties expressed or implied.
Wednesday
Monkey Hater breaks 1M hits
Upchuckle, transitive verb, ( '&p-ch&-k&l) To laugh quietly or to oneself till one throws up on oneself.
Frank J, at IMAO, one of my influences in my quest to make folks laugh if not puke for whichever reason, just broke 1,000,000 hits.
So what's the score here at the FSMC?
We...just...scraped...past...1K.
Frank J, is a riot. I should be so funny. Unfortunately he doesn't like monkeys.
Frank J, at IMAO, one of my influences in my quest to make folks laugh if not puke for whichever reason, just broke 1,000,000 hits.
So what's the score here at the FSMC?
We...just...scraped...past...1K.
Frank J, is a riot. I should be so funny. Unfortunately he doesn't like monkeys.
Monday
Work Deadline Looms.
No meaningful posts today.
Yes, just like every other day. Except with fewer words from me.
Yes, just like every other day. Except with fewer words from me.
Saturday
Kerry did what when he was commander of Swift Boat 44?!?!
Hmmmmm, this does not bode well for Kerry.
Friday
Ohio officially 38th state to ban .g.a.y. marriage
From CNN.com - Bob Taft, governor of Ohio, signs bill making state 38th to ban same sex marriage
Outstanding, I guess America's heartland still has some heart, after all.
Outstanding, I guess America's heartland still has some heart, after all.
Coffee: Creamer, Sweetener, Black or Not at all?
As I've said before, I like love require my morning/afternoon/evening coffee. I need at least 4 fillings of my two cup capacity travel mug to get my day started, never mind what it takes to be optimally functional, whatever that is.
If I haven't said it before, no, decaf. IS NOT, repeat NOT coffee, it's warm flavored artificially colored water forlosers people who want to look like they're drinking real coffee.
How do I take my coffee? Thanks for asking. 2 Creamers, no Sugar. And I don't stir it, I add the creamer and let the coffee mix it as I pour it in on top. I'm lazy that way.
My query for you is this. Do you drink coffee and if so how do you like YOUR coffee? How many cups a day do you put away? And as long as we're on the subject, do you mind making a fresh pot I could really use a cup or 12. Hey, don't give me that attitude, I brewed the last one, its your turn.
If I haven't said it before, no, decaf. IS NOT, repeat NOT coffee, it's warm flavored artificially colored water for
How do I take my coffee? Thanks for asking. 2 Creamers, no Sugar. And I don't stir it, I add the creamer and let the coffee mix it as I pour it in on top. I'm lazy that way.
My query for you is this. Do you drink coffee and if so how do you like YOUR coffee? How many cups a day do you put away? And as long as we're on the subject, do you mind making a fresh pot I could really use a cup or 12. Hey, don't give me that attitude, I brewed the last one, its your turn.
Thursday
Phase Of Matter
I must be a real old timer at the tender age of 33 because I can remember when we had 4 phases of matter: Vapor, Liquid Solid and Plasma. But the first three I mentioned are all you or I run into on a day to day basis. I guess you could say it's a good thing we don't run into plasmas, they're freakin' HOT (the Sun is a plasma)
Now they are coming fasting and furious, Added just recently are Bose-Einstein condensate, A Fermionic Condensate and A New, Supersolid, Phase Of Matter and these all exist under conditions approaching absolute zero.(glad I don't bump my knee on this stuff too).
OK, My math says 7, of course antimatter would double that and mirror matter(if it exists) would double it again.
That's a freaking lot of phases! So 28 kinds of matter. Makes me wonder, what does the future hold?
Now they are coming fasting and furious, Added just recently are Bose-Einstein condensate, A Fermionic Condensate and A New, Supersolid, Phase Of Matter and these all exist under conditions approaching absolute zero.(glad I don't bump my knee on this stuff too).
OK, My math says 7, of course antimatter would double that and mirror matter(if it exists) would double it again.
That's a freaking lot of phases! So 28 kinds of matter. Makes me wonder, what does the future hold?
Bryan No longer Arguing with signposts
After 12 months, Bryan over at Arguing with signposts is arguing no more. At this writing there is no word on whether the signposts or Bryan won the yearlong verbal melee. We'll miss him.
Tuesday
FSMC - Europeans want to send humans to Mars - But Won`t
2/3/2004-- Europeans want to send humans to Mars but won't. The European Space Agency has announced they want to start a manned space program with the end result being humans on Mars. But they say "Don't hold us to that. Remember, we tried to send a lander there too and see how that turned out. There are a quite a few things we want to do with our space program but so far haven't been able to do. The lander was a failure at delivering functional hardware to the surface of Mars, but it was quite the success at delivering ESA functionaries the hard cash right here on the surface of Earth. However,we are certain that we hit it, in other words, the Beagle has crash-landed. "
"And we continue full faith and confidence we can deliver other "successes" like that in the near to long term future. And if we never hit a another space rock with our hardware...we are sure that...we fell confident in the utmost we CAN start the program. We CAN spend every Euro budgeted for the program and then some. We might even be able to build some nice looking hardware that we'll proudly put the ESA logo on and blow it up trying to put it in orbit. Optimistically, a few tries later we'll promptly smash one onto the surface of the moon and later, within say, five to ten years, if ever, later, we'll smash a similar model on mars. But put a living human being on the Moon or Mars? We wouldn't dare try that, really, I just don't see it. Seriously, let me see if I can name all the European Space explorers to go into orbit onboard ESA built space craft......hmm...yes.. no... he was onboard a shuttle......and then there was....no...he was on a Soyuz.....aha..yes...now I remember. Yep, nobody, zippo, nada. We want to really, really bad, but it seems we won't to just as badly. We think it is technically feasible to conduct a failed mission on the moon between 2020 and 2025 and then send a similarly fated mission to Mars between 2030 and 2035. Honestly though, we just couldn't let the American president Bush's unilateral Moon-Mars space speech go unanswered. We have a space program too. remember?' said Francko Nogo-nogo, project manager of the ESA’s fledgling Argh-Ruh-Roh space exploration program.
Fresh FSMC Fake News brought to you by...Unnamed Democratic Candidate. Remember friends Unnamed Democratic Candidate says "I have a remote chance at beating Bush this year. Named Democratic Candidate? Not so much. So vote Unnamed Democratic Candidate for President"
"And we continue full faith and confidence we can deliver other "successes" like that in the near to long term future. And if we never hit a another space rock with our hardware...we are sure that...we fell confident in the utmost we CAN start the program. We CAN spend every Euro budgeted for the program and then some. We might even be able to build some nice looking hardware that we'll proudly put the ESA logo on and blow it up trying to put it in orbit. Optimistically, a few tries later we'll promptly smash one onto the surface of the moon and later, within say, five to ten years, if ever, later, we'll smash a similar model on mars. But put a living human being on the Moon or Mars? We wouldn't dare try that, really, I just don't see it. Seriously, let me see if I can name all the European Space explorers to go into orbit onboard ESA built space craft......hmm...yes.. no... he was onboard a shuttle......and then there was....no...he was on a Soyuz.....aha..yes...now I remember. Yep, nobody, zippo, nada. We want to really, really bad, but it seems we won't to just as badly. We think it is technically feasible to conduct a failed mission on the moon between 2020 and 2025 and then send a similarly fated mission to Mars between 2030 and 2035. Honestly though, we just couldn't let the American president Bush's unilateral Moon-Mars space speech go unanswered. We have a space program too. remember?' said Francko Nogo-nogo, project manager of the ESA’s fledgling Argh-Ruh-Roh space exploration program.
Fresh FSMC Fake News brought to you by...Unnamed Democratic Candidate. Remember friends Unnamed Democratic Candidate says "I have a remote chance at beating Bush this year. Named Democratic Candidate? Not so much. So vote Unnamed Democratic Candidate for President"
Monday
R Lee Ermey
Watching Mail Call on the History Channel and doing my part to not doom myself to repeating history. Heh, R. Lee, you just can't help but like this guy [WARNING: INTRO is R.L.E. giving you the D.I. treatment, loudly].. He's rough and rough and gruff. Moreso, he's old school in the way new school wishes they could be. The man really puts the hurt on the melons. Stupid, rotten, commie, melons.
NOW drop and give me 20!
Booo Yah!
NOW drop and give me 20!
Booo Yah!
Liar, Scaredy Yellow Pants
About 11 months ago we hear reports of Saddam tough talking like this.
The rest of the story could have read like this: Then the 'tyrant without a country' came out the hole, appearing to have muscled up during his time underground. With guns blazing, sixpack rippling, and mouth screaming 'Eat lead American pig-dogs', did a few bullet time moves as bullets whizzed by, realized he wasn't Neo and was then riddled with heavy machine gun fire, light arms fire, some small stones and more than a few spitwads.
Still firing his matching chrome plated 'Saddam city' specials and spouting bright read Sunni blood from dozens of newly American-made orifices, a few of which had been neatly plugged by the smattering of spitwad fire, Saddam screamed prpheticly 'Come on, you sons of men who have no sons can do better than that!, This will be the mother of all death scenes!' At that a flurry of grenades are lobbed into the air over his head and detonate, causing the Ramboesque scene to end as violently as it began. With Saddam coalescing into Hussein stew and draining back into the spider hole. Later, smiling but visibly grossed out coalition forces used an ice cream scoop to retrieve his carcass.
NOOOO, instead we get this load...er...story,
Know what worse than being a big loser? Being a big lying scaredy yellow pants loser loser. That's right, I said loser twice and I don't care. This Saddam capture story is about as stale as bag of crackers left out open on the counter for a month and a half but I don't care about that either.
"Saddam Hussein has in recent days spoken on television of his intention to die in Iraq and to die fighting if necessary."Then a little over a month and a half ago we hear this load of, well, lets just call it a load.
"My name is Saddam Hussein,...I am the president of Iraq and I want to negotiate."Negotiate? Negotiate? Why not "My name is Saddam Hussein,...I am the president of Iraq and you'll never take me ALIIIIVE!!!, Muh wahahaha!"
The rest of the story could have read like this: Then the 'tyrant without a country' came out the hole, appearing to have muscled up during his time underground. With guns blazing, sixpack rippling, and mouth screaming 'Eat lead American pig-dogs', did a few bullet time moves as bullets whizzed by, realized he wasn't Neo and was then riddled with heavy machine gun fire, light arms fire, some small stones and more than a few spitwads.
Still firing his matching chrome plated 'Saddam city' specials and spouting bright read Sunni blood from dozens of newly American-made orifices, a few of which had been neatly plugged by the smattering of spitwad fire, Saddam screamed prpheticly 'Come on, you sons of men who have no sons can do better than that!, This will be the mother of all death scenes!' At that a flurry of grenades are lobbed into the air over his head and detonate, causing the Ramboesque scene to end as violently as it began. With Saddam coalescing into Hussein stew and draining back into the spider hole. Later, smiling but visibly grossed out coalition forces used an ice cream scoop to retrieve his carcass.
NOOOO, instead we get this load...er...story,
Saddam was hiding in a polystyrene-covered underground hide-out near one of his former palaces in his hometown of Tikrit. He was dishevelled and wearing a thick beard, and though he was armed with a pistol, the man who waged and lost two wars against the United States and its allies did not resist or fire a shot.So the tough talk was just talk.
Know what worse than being a big loser? Being a big lying scaredy yellow pants loser loser. That's right, I said loser twice and I don't care. This Saddam capture story is about as stale as bag of crackers left out open on the counter for a month and a half but I don't care about that either.
Saturday
My Where I Have Been Map.
Thanks, black-5 for the link.
Am I a Southern boy or what?
create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide
Friday
Open Letter to Mydoom Author
MSNBC - Mydoom threat still high;Microsoft offers reward:
To the guy/gal who wrote the mydoom worm:
Your Mydoom worm has really caused a stir. I would offer you one teesy little suggestion. Make it block SPAM.
If you had made it block spam, whos like spam?, instead of blocking the anti-virus sites, but kept blocking the popup ads, you probably could have sold it, instead of giving it away free and made big bundles of $$$$$$$$
Also it could keep people from going to bad scary evil web places that nobody really has any business going. Such as "howtokillamanwithtoast.com" , "eBay" or "DeanforAmerica.com".
Drop me an email and we'll work out the plan for marketing it! Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
SpaceMonkey
"In addition to attacking Microsoft and SCO, the new version also tries to block victims from reaching antivirus Web sites. It also blocks ads served by about a dozen advertising network sites, including Ad.Doubleclick.net and ads.Fastclick.net."
To the guy/gal who wrote the mydoom worm:
Your Mydoom worm has really caused a stir. I would offer you one teesy little suggestion. Make it block SPAM.
If you had made it block spam, whos like spam?, instead of blocking the anti-virus sites, but kept blocking the popup ads, you probably could have sold it, instead of giving it away free and made big bundles of $$$$$$$$
Also it could keep people from going to bad scary evil web places that nobody really has any business going. Such as "howtokillamanwithtoast.com" , "eBay" or "DeanforAmerica.com".
Drop me an email and we'll work out the plan for marketing it! Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
SpaceMonkey
My View On Raising The Minimum Wage
When I was in college I was in a fraternity. Next door to the house was a bar that served lunch during the day. Some of us would meet there for lunch everyday. I always got the burger. They served a really great burger, one you could actually eat every day and not get tired of. We enjoyed eating there and it kind of felt Melrose Placish. We'd laugh and shoot pool and argue about the argument of the day. Then, while we were eating there one day, the owner told us he was not going to be able to serve lunch any more, the restaurant was effectively closing but the bar would operate at night..
'Why?' we all demanded.
Well he explained it all to us, He was having to let his cook go. The one that made the eat-every-day-able hamburger. He told us he couldn't afford to pay him anymore. The minimum wage increase had passed and was going into effect.
My friends and I were out our midday social gathering, I was denied my daily burger, and the cook, a smallish oriental man who spoke no English, but smiled almost constantly, was out of a job.
Raising the minimum wage doesn't make everybody whose making it earn more. Some folks make much less as a result. Some folks aren't affected anymore than having fewer cozy places to relate with the gang.
Some folks just make do with lesser burgers, I STILL miss that burger, the fries (chips for some of you and you know who you are) weren't bad either. I was robbed of a unique simple pleasure by that stupid minimum wage increase.
'Why?' we all demanded.
Well he explained it all to us, He was having to let his cook go. The one that made the eat-every-day-able hamburger. He told us he couldn't afford to pay him anymore. The minimum wage increase had passed and was going into effect.
My friends and I were out our midday social gathering, I was denied my daily burger, and the cook, a smallish oriental man who spoke no English, but smiled almost constantly, was out of a job.
Raising the minimum wage doesn't make everybody whose making it earn more. Some folks make much less as a result. Some folks aren't affected anymore than having fewer cozy places to relate with the gang.
Some folks just make do with lesser burgers, I STILL miss that burger, the fries (chips for some of you and you know who you are) weren't bad either. I was robbed of a unique simple pleasure by that stupid minimum wage increase.
Wednesday
WWAFD? What Would Al Franken Do? or Violence is the answer.
When somebody is talking that you want to hear and then some body else is talking at the same time and you don't care to listen to them. What to do, what to do? Al Franken's answer? Sneak up behind and as nonviolently and in the most gentle and free speech protecting way you can bodyslam them. According to the NYPost article, he wasn't hurt, that is, Franken wasn't hurt. Strangely no word on the victim's/heckler's health status. Nor was there any mention of any Franken arrest for assault. Probably has a license to bodyslam or something similar.
UPDATE: Fake Quote of Stuart Smalley "I'm good enough, and I'm smart enough and doggonnit people like you need to shut up before I bodyslam you." - I crack myself up
UPDATE: Fake Quote of Stuart Smalley "I'm good enough, and I'm smart enough and doggonnit people like you need to shut up before I bodyslam you." - I crack myself up
Tuesday
The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia
According to The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia, I am 3 degrees from Kevin Bacon.
"The Oracle says: Steven Seagal has a Bacon number of 2.
Steven Seagal was in Marked for Death (1990) with Keith (I) David
Keith (I) David was in Novocaine (2001) with Kevin Bacon "
How am I three degrees from the Baconator you might ask? And ask you might. I was an extra in Under Seige with Steven Seagal, which was filmed here in town.
And 1 (me to Steven) + 2 (Steven to Kevin) = *3.
Where Am I? I was a sailor in the scene where the Chinook helicopter bringing the band/terrorists landed on the deck of the USS Missouri. I am kneeling then standing just to the other side of Gary Busey as he stands from kneeling to approach the chopper. You can just barely see my profile. No autographs, please.
What's YOUR Bacon number?
UPDATE: Thanks to Mike The Marine, who points out newly uncovered (and fomerly overlooked by me ) truths from the Oracle Of Bacon. Mainly he points out
"Tommy Lee Jones was in JFK (1991) with Kevin Bacon" which gives me a Bacon number of (drum roll) **2. I couldn't recall his (Tommy Lee Jones') name when I was conjuring the previous version of thissteaming pile thought provoking and pithy post. By the way, Mr Jones is quite an imposing character in person. A glare from him sent me into a puddle in order to get my bony self out of his way, one day on the set.
UPDATE2: I'm 2 degrees from Algore as well. Since he was Mr Jones' roommate in college. Ewwww, I regret knowing this.
*in your FACE, 4 degrees of Kevin Bacon people.
**in my FACE, Me from earlier today and...in your FACE, 3 degrees of Kevin Bacon people.
"The Oracle says: Steven Seagal has a Bacon number of 2.
Steven Seagal was in Marked for Death (1990) with Keith (I) David
Keith (I) David was in Novocaine (2001) with Kevin Bacon "
How am I three degrees from the Baconator you might ask? And ask you might. I was an extra in Under Seige with Steven Seagal, which was filmed here in town.
And 1 (me to Steven) + 2 (Steven to Kevin) = *3.
Where Am I? I was a sailor in the scene where the Chinook helicopter bringing the band/terrorists landed on the deck of the USS Missouri. I am kneeling then standing just to the other side of Gary Busey as he stands from kneeling to approach the chopper. You can just barely see my profile. No autographs, please.
What's YOUR Bacon number?
UPDATE: Thanks to Mike The Marine, who points out newly uncovered (and fomerly overlooked by me ) truths from the Oracle Of Bacon. Mainly he points out
"Tommy Lee Jones was in JFK (1991) with Kevin Bacon" which gives me a Bacon number of (drum roll) **2. I couldn't recall his (Tommy Lee Jones') name when I was conjuring the previous version of this
UPDATE2: I'm 2 degrees from Algore as well. Since he was Mr Jones' roommate in college. Ewwww, I regret knowing this.
*in your FACE, 4 degrees of Kevin Bacon people.
**in my FACE, Me from earlier today and...in your FACE, 3 degrees of Kevin Bacon people.
Monday
Miller's New Show Starts Tonight
My Way News:Dennis Miller to Give Bush a Free Pass
My favorite part of his new show?
"And a monkey."
"You read that right. Miller wanted a simian presence, believing a monkey occasionally scampering across the studio floor will keep both guests and viewers on their toes, he said."
Well, who wouldn't like a monkey around? Evolutionist's would likely consider the monkey a member of the family. Creationists would consider the monkey one of God's wonderful creatures. All the bases are covered. Briilliant.
I wonder if the Flying Space variety would be acceptable for the show. Hmmmmm, anybody know Mr. Miller's email?
Thanks to the Poliblogger for the the link
My favorite part of his new show?
"And a monkey."
"You read that right. Miller wanted a simian presence, believing a monkey occasionally scampering across the studio floor will keep both guests and viewers on their toes, he said."
Well, who wouldn't like a monkey around? Evolutionist's would likely consider the monkey a member of the family. Creationists would consider the monkey one of God's wonderful creatures. All the bases are covered. Briilliant.
I wonder if the Flying Space variety would be acceptable for the show. Hmmmmm, anybody know Mr. Miller's email?
Thanks to the Poliblogger for the the link
Sunday
Syndicated
Ok, I've got an xml feed now. I hope you're happy. Shane.
Update: The xml url is on the Sidebar on the left, no, your other left. Thanks for pointing that out Dan.
Update: The xml url is on the Sidebar on the left, no, your other left. Thanks for pointing that out Dan.
Saturday
Hey Moviemakers, Cut That CursingBleep Out.
Since DVD's usually have multiple sound tracks, usu. adding French or Spanish language dubs.
Why not have a PG-Rated language version on there too? That would be cool. Hey, for that matter, why not have a theatre release which is also the TV edit? They are going to do it anyway when it finally goes on TV, why not increase their potential ticket buying viewerbase? I don't know, seems logical to me. Guess I'm just ahead of my time.
Why not have a PG-Rated language version on there too? That would be cool. Hey, for that matter, why not have a theatre release which is also the TV edit? They are going to do it anyway when it finally goes on TV, why not increase their potential ticket buying viewerbase? I don't know, seems logical to me. Guess I'm just ahead of my time.
Overtoasted? Maybe
If you think I am an overtoasted, toast talker talkin' about toast too much, look at this toasty post in the poliblog. Sheesh.
Really, I'm ONLY kidding. Toast is the meme of the future!! Toast, anyone?
Really, I'm ONLY kidding. Toast is the meme of the future!! Toast, anyone?
Friday
It's Alive?
Spirit Rover Sending Data Again, Status Unclear
The Spirit Rover finally woke up this morning, still a little groggy, ate a balanced breakfast of sunlight and dry, white toast during a quick interview with Mission Control and headed off to explore. NASA and JPL issued a statement indicating a case of Martian Rover/Lander Flu (MRLF) has been deemed to be the cause of yesterday's sleep-in. MRLF or "MeRLFFFF' as the slang goes around among those in the 'know' at Mission Control is also the suspected cause of death for the ESA's 'Beagle 2' Lander, being smaller, punier, and linked to cheese eating surrender monkeys who prefer croissants to toast.
Spirit was visibly upset during the breakfast interview at comparison of it's unintelligible gibberish quasicommunications with Howard "Coward Scream" Dean's similar unintelligible gibberish. Defending himself in fashion that merits his name, Spirit said "Hey, at least I was sick and fevered. You are gonna make silly psycho sounds when you feel all endless loopy in the CPU like I was yesterday, but I'm all better now, The other guy? He needs to add "the factory" to the list of places he's gonna go. His 'captain insano' emotion chip clearly needs replacing, the one he's using is toast, man.......Angry dry white toast." Then, obviously losing interest in the interview and rolling away Spirit exclaimed, 'OOOH, LOOK! A MARS ROCK, another pretty, pretty MARS ROCK. TOASTY"
The Spirit Rover finally woke up this morning, still a little groggy, ate a balanced breakfast of sunlight and dry, white toast during a quick interview with Mission Control and headed off to explore. NASA and JPL issued a statement indicating a case of Martian Rover/Lander Flu (MRLF) has been deemed to be the cause of yesterday's sleep-in. MRLF or "MeRLFFFF' as the slang goes around among those in the 'know' at Mission Control is also the suspected cause of death for the ESA's 'Beagle 2' Lander, being smaller, punier, and linked to cheese eating surrender monkeys who prefer croissants to toast.
Spirit was visibly upset during the breakfast interview at comparison of it's unintelligible gibberish quasicommunications with Howard "Coward Scream" Dean's similar unintelligible gibberish. Defending himself in fashion that merits his name, Spirit said "Hey, at least I was sick and fevered. You are gonna make silly psycho sounds when you feel all endless loopy in the CPU like I was yesterday, but I'm all better now, The other guy? He needs to add "the factory" to the list of places he's gonna go. His 'captain insano' emotion chip clearly needs replacing, the one he's using is toast, man.......Angry dry white toast." Then, obviously losing interest in the interview and rolling away Spirit exclaimed, 'OOOH, LOOK! A MARS ROCK, another pretty, pretty MARS ROCK. TOASTY"
Scientist Makes Claim that DEAN is actually a "PROBE FROM MARS"
Sutter's Mill USA - Respected Alienprobologist, Dr Xeno Milquetoast Dds, PhD, LGM. has made the announcement that DEAN is actually a "PROBE FROM MARS"
Milquetoast upon remembering how in The War of the Worlds the Martian attackers walked around killing humans everywhere with their heat rays, then all got sick and died because of earth bacteria, the idea struck him like a heat ray.
Milquetoast says that the Spirit Rover, possibly the Beagle II and other failed landers have all been affected by Martian microbes gumming up the works in a similar fashion. Milquetoast defines this term as when works get all gummy like when microbes get in them.
Milquetoast says "Missions to land on Mars have all fallen silent due to Martian microbe-caused gummy works. It's a plague. We've probing them, they are probing us back and I have the proof!''
"Deans incessant ranting, not quite human emotional response, expressions, and reaction and the otherworldly screech, desire for world domination are clear indicators that he's a alien presence in the form of an almost human like replicant, y'know like in Blade Runner, but without the expiration date, sort of War Of The World Martian Attack Thingy Mark II. Maybe he's not completely gummed up yet but his works are DEFINITELY getting gummier. Gummy to the point of psychotic episodes."
Milquetoast observes, "He makes little to no sense. Did you notice the similarity between his screech and the Mars Rover current unintelligible gibberish?"
Milquetoast adds in a serious tone, "Also note how he jabs his 'finger' out as though sampling the earth air with a probe-tool."
"Note also how he's always taking his coat off and rolling up his sleeves. Earth is a veritable oven compared to Mars, so of course he's gonna be taking off layers to keep his heat ray from overheating and killing the electorate, before he's ready for that phase of his plan, that is."
"Why do you think he keeps his records as Governor of Vermont sealed? The first line of his Governor's Journal probably reads 'I now am leader a land region the earth beings call 'Vermont', The earth beings are easy to trick but not so easy to emulate. After I overthrow their world power, the 'U.S.A.', they will be fun to toast with my heat ray. I do so miss the probe factory back on Mars where I was built. Got to go, works feeling gummy, yeeeeahrrg.'"
"Dean's a Martian probe, that's all there is to it. You've been warned, don't blame me when he heat rays all over New Hampshire or Connecticut or Texas or.....Well, you get the point."
This Fake News is brought to you by: Milquetoast Anti-Heat Ray Clothing. 'Remember, friends, You won't get toasted if you're wearing Milquetoast'
Milquetoast upon remembering how in The War of the Worlds the Martian attackers walked around killing humans everywhere with their heat rays, then all got sick and died because of earth bacteria, the idea struck him like a heat ray.
Milquetoast says that the Spirit Rover, possibly the Beagle II and other failed landers have all been affected by Martian microbes gumming up the works in a similar fashion. Milquetoast defines this term as when works get all gummy like when microbes get in them.
Milquetoast says "Missions to land on Mars have all fallen silent due to Martian microbe-caused gummy works. It's a plague. We've probing them, they are probing us back and I have the proof!''
"Deans incessant ranting, not quite human emotional response, expressions, and reaction and the otherworldly screech, desire for world domination are clear indicators that he's a alien presence in the form of an almost human like replicant, y'know like in Blade Runner, but without the expiration date, sort of War Of The World Martian Attack Thingy Mark II. Maybe he's not completely gummed up yet but his works are DEFINITELY getting gummier. Gummy to the point of psychotic episodes."
Milquetoast observes, "He makes little to no sense. Did you notice the similarity between his screech and the Mars Rover current unintelligible gibberish?"
Milquetoast adds in a serious tone, "Also note how he jabs his 'finger' out as though sampling the earth air with a probe-tool."
"Note also how he's always taking his coat off and rolling up his sleeves. Earth is a veritable oven compared to Mars, so of course he's gonna be taking off layers to keep his heat ray from overheating and killing the electorate, before he's ready for that phase of his plan, that is."
"Why do you think he keeps his records as Governor of Vermont sealed? The first line of his Governor's Journal probably reads 'I now am leader a land region the earth beings call 'Vermont', The earth beings are easy to trick but not so easy to emulate. After I overthrow their world power, the 'U.S.A.', they will be fun to toast with my heat ray. I do so miss the probe factory back on Mars where I was built. Got to go, works feeling gummy, yeeeeahrrg.'"
"Dean's a Martian probe, that's all there is to it. You've been warned, don't blame me when he heat rays all over New Hampshire or Connecticut or Texas or.....Well, you get the point."
This Fake News is brought to you by: Milquetoast Anti-Heat Ray Clothing. 'Remember, friends, You won't get toasted if you're wearing Milquetoast'
Thursday
The Krauts had it wrong. We Don't Got Him After All
Reuters | Latest Financial News / Full News Coverage: "U.S. Official: No Truth to Rumor Bin Laden Captured "
Well that euphoria was a short lived ~18 minutes
*Sigh* Still, I think I scooped the blogiverse on the 'bin Laden captured' unfounded rumor meme..
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Well that euphoria was a short lived ~18 minutes
*Sigh* Still, I think I scooped the blogiverse on the 'bin Laden captured' unfounded rumor meme..
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
UPI: bin Laden captured???
Interest!ALERT: Quality Content: "Report: bin Laden held
BERLIN, Jan. 22 (UPI) -- Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden has been captured, Germany's Die Welt newspaper reported Thursday.
If this is true....heh heh WOW.
Update: Die Welt has this relevant looking breaking news item. "USA dementieren Gerücht über Festnahme Osama bin Ladens" but I dont read German and there nothing else there ,no link, no nothing, just a B&W graphic of an exclamation point.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
BERLIN, Jan. 22 (UPI) -- Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden has been captured, Germany's Die Welt newspaper reported Thursday.
If this is true....heh heh WOW.
Update: Die Welt has this relevant looking breaking news item. "USA dementieren Gerücht über Festnahme Osama bin Ladens" but I dont read German and there nothing else there ,no link, no nothing, just a B&W graphic of an exclamation point.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Wednesday
Dean's Plan For Dominating Zorhod 4 of the Trendax Cluster
I'm sure everyone heard Dr. Dean's rousing redfaced litany of states, nations, planets, globular clusters and extradimensional realms he will crush under his jackboots stylish loafers on his path to Supreme Dark Overlord of the Universe. Then he cleared his throat and coughed up 40 lbs of pure evil in the process.
Throat clearing and evil phlegm gurgling aside. Sounds like a well thought out and logical plan. I will sum it up if I may in a single word.
WIN!
With a fool-proof plan like that, he can't lose. It's utter genius! Only the Dr could come up with a plan like that.
One has to wonder though, why didn't he come up with that plan BEFORE the Iowa caucus. Ahh yes, the ways of the Dean are a mystery. But the news is great for all you Deanfans out there, since victory is assured, you can all sleep well in your biopods. Resistance is futile and pangalactic triumph is within your grasp. The trip down gumdrop lane has begun and won't end till the Dean finds the magic num num tree. Tralahlah lahlah treleelee leelee, wubba wubba.
Zoink.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Throat clearing and evil phlegm gurgling aside. Sounds like a well thought out and logical plan. I will sum it up if I may in a single word.
WIN!
With a fool-proof plan like that, he can't lose. It's utter genius! Only the Dr could come up with a plan like that.
One has to wonder though, why didn't he come up with that plan BEFORE the Iowa caucus. Ahh yes, the ways of the Dean are a mystery. But the news is great for all you Deanfans out there, since victory is assured, you can all sleep well in your biopods. Resistance is futile and pangalactic triumph is within your grasp. The trip down gumdrop lane has begun and won't end till the Dean finds the magic num num tree. Tralahlah lahlah treleelee leelee, wubba wubba.
Zoink.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Tuesday
Dean Blames Third-Place Finish on Attacks
My Way News: Dean Blames Third-Place Finish on Attacks
"Dean blamed the loss on attacks he suffered as the one-time front-runner. His rivals pummeled him with criticism, saying he didn't have the foreign policy experience or temperament to lead the country."
It was attacks alright, just not the ones he's thinking.
"Dean blamed the loss on attacks he suffered as the one-time front-runner. His rivals pummeled him with criticism, saying he didn't have the foreign policy experience or temperament to lead the country."
It was attacks alright, just not the ones he's thinking.
Dude, where's my sense?
COURTTV.COM - PEOPLE - Man tosses marijuana into security tray while going through metal detector
After making bail and securing a fresh stash, he *allegedly was one of the 2 doofs who voted for Kucinich.
As he left the caucus, he was *allegedly quoted as saying 'Whoa, I could really go for some pie'
* I am so totally making this up
After making bail and securing a fresh stash, he *allegedly was one of the 2 doofs who voted for Kucinich.
As he left the caucus, he was *allegedly quoted as saying 'Whoa, I could really go for some pie'
* I am so totally making this up
RE: Gephardt
I wonder if the author of the miserable failure line feels like a victim of irony now.
I wonder.....
Unfortunately for the poor guy his name and the term will be joined in the memories of this generation moreso than the way he intended.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
I wonder.....
Unfortunately for the poor guy his name and the term will be joined in the memories of this generation moreso than the way he intended.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Monday
Notice Anything?
Whew! Finished the new layout, been a long time coming. Once again, thanks are due to Shane.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
How was your weekend?
'How was your weekend?', a coworker asked as we fought the brisk wind to enter the office building in which we are both 'cubed'.
'O-kay' I said after a brief moments pause and stepped through the door.
'Uh-oh that doesn't sound good' he said as we continued down the hall.
'Why do you say that?' I replied.
'The way you said "okay" sounds like you had a bad weekend' he answered as he opened and stepped through the door to the IT cubopolis we both call 'work'.
Following him in, I offered 'Well, I didn't discover a transdimensional portal in my closet or anything this weekend and I didn't invent a NEW meat flavored beverage. I just had a normal quiet weekend'
Then over the cube wall we hear 'Oh brother, not again with the meat flavored beverages'
I chuckle inwardly. They hate it when I mention the meat flavored beverages. They'll see, they'll see.
Then I stopped chuckling.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
'O-kay' I said after a brief moments pause and stepped through the door.
'Uh-oh that doesn't sound good' he said as we continued down the hall.
'Why do you say that?' I replied.
'The way you said "okay" sounds like you had a bad weekend' he answered as he opened and stepped through the door to the IT cubopolis we both call 'work'.
Following him in, I offered 'Well, I didn't discover a transdimensional portal in my closet or anything this weekend and I didn't invent a NEW meat flavored beverage. I just had a normal quiet weekend'
Then over the cube wall we hear 'Oh brother, not again with the meat flavored beverages'
I chuckle inwardly. They hate it when I mention the meat flavored beverages. They'll see, they'll see.
Then I stopped chuckling.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Working on a holiday
Boy, don't ya LOVE working on a day when most folks are off? Really, there they are all sleeping late, wearing pajamas all day and watching the soaps and I have the unrelenting pleasure of going to the office to work. BooYah! Nothing like it, I tell ya. Nothing at all. So if you are at home reading this in your jammies and bunny slippers, then I have this to say to you
"NEENER-NEENER-NEENER, YOU-had-to-STAY-home and-I-GOT-to-WER-erk. HAha-haHAha!"
I'm only laughing to keep from crying.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
"NEENER-NEENER-NEENER, YOU-had-to-STAY-home and-I-GOT-to-WER-erk. HAha-haHAha!"
I'm only laughing to keep from crying.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Saturday
Ever Wonder?
Ever wonder how the cheese got added to broccoli to make broccoli and cheese? I do. It's not that obvious an addition. By itself broccoli, well, sucks. But add cheese and it transforms into a veritible dessert among vegetable dishes. I never tried it when I was a kid, when I think about that I reall give myself a swft hard mental kick because of all the 'B&C' I cheated myself out of by not trying it.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Thursday
The Cluetrain, get aboard
Anybody who hasn't read this yet, where have you been?
I just read it myself, and come to think of it where have I been?
An Idea whose time has come, you should read the Cluetrain Manifesto
A parody whose time has come of an idea whose time.... oh just READ it already! The Gluetrain Mainfesto
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
I just read it myself, and come to think of it where have I been?
An Idea whose time has come, you should read the Cluetrain Manifesto
A parody whose time has come of an idea whose time.... oh just READ it already! The Gluetrain Mainfesto
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Wednesday
Thanks Shane
Thanks to Shane Blake over at Kudzu for resolving my blog rendering problem. He's a bright one that Shane.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
In the mail bag
Dear XXXX,
There is a big effort underway by supporters of homosexual marriage to keep President Bush from promoting a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between one man and one woman.
Send your letter urging the President to support a federal marriage amendment.
Homosexual leaders have openly bragged about the influence they have with staff members at the White House. Senator Feingold of Wisconsin has publicly stated that he will lead the charge for homosexual marriage.
Senators and Congressmen willing to work for passage of a constitutional amendment tell us they are waiting on the President to act.
I urge you to let President Bush know you stand with him in opposing homosexual marriage. Please donÂ’t let those supporters of homosexual marriage in the White House be the only voice the President hears.
Send the letter of encouragement to the President now. Let him know you stand with him. It would send a powerful and encouraging note to the President to hear from millions of Americans. Please send your email now.
And be sure to forward this request to at least one friend.
Sincerely,
Don
Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association
P.S. Please forward this email to at least one friend.
I don't generally forward emails, and I don't intend to start now, I figure this is as close as I can allow. How this organization got my email is a mystery but they sure hit their target demographic here at the Flying Space Monkey Chronicles. I definitely support protecting the family as an institution. I am not afraid of gays, don't hate them or anything like that but I am afraid of wishing them Godspeed as would be the case of legalizing gay marriage. How strongly do I feel in this regard?
Well........how's this?
I can honestly say I would support the secession of the state I live in if gay marriage were be made legal. It wouldn't be the first time we'd seceded. But it think this time we could make it stick. I am definitely sending my letter to the pres. on this but I'm also seriously thinking about establishment of the Free State Of Alabama in event of the other. I will say more on this, just not now.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
There is a big effort underway by supporters of homosexual marriage to keep President Bush from promoting a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between one man and one woman.
Send your letter urging the President to support a federal marriage amendment.
Homosexual leaders have openly bragged about the influence they have with staff members at the White House. Senator Feingold of Wisconsin has publicly stated that he will lead the charge for homosexual marriage.
Senators and Congressmen willing to work for passage of a constitutional amendment tell us they are waiting on the President to act.
I urge you to let President Bush know you stand with him in opposing homosexual marriage. Please donÂ’t let those supporters of homosexual marriage in the White House be the only voice the President hears.
Send the letter of encouragement to the President now. Let him know you stand with him. It would send a powerful and encouraging note to the President to hear from millions of Americans. Please send your email now.
And be sure to forward this request to at least one friend.
Sincerely,
Don
Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association
P.S. Please forward this email to at least one friend.
I don't generally forward emails, and I don't intend to start now, I figure this is as close as I can allow. How this organization got my email is a mystery but they sure hit their target demographic here at the Flying Space Monkey Chronicles. I definitely support protecting the family as an institution. I am not afraid of gays, don't hate them or anything like that but I am afraid of wishing them Godspeed as would be the case of legalizing gay marriage. How strongly do I feel in this regard?
Well........how's this?
I can honestly say I would support the secession of the state I live in if gay marriage were be made legal. It wouldn't be the first time we'd seceded. But it think this time we could make it stick. I am definitely sending my letter to the pres. on this but I'm also seriously thinking about establishment of the Free State Of Alabama in event of the other. I will say more on this, just not now.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Monday
Michael "Miserable Failure" Moore
I'm not sure we should google bomb Michael "Miserable Failure" Moore by putting Michael "Miserable Failure" Moore on our blogs and so forth, I mean his entire, huge body of work is obviously satire of satire. I mean c'mon, have you seen any of it? Surely nobody could in his right mind think the way his little 'entertainments' purport him to. I think, one "Miserable Failure" here is the general tendency to think people mean what they say.
"Michael Moore" needs everyone to give him a break.
I suggest we all complain to Mr. Beck about this.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
"Michael Moore" needs everyone to give him a break.
I suggest we all complain to Mr. Beck about this.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Saturday
Sen. Harkin Endorses Dean Apparently Demonstrates Poor Judgment
FOXNews.com - Politics - Sen. Harkin Endorses Dean: "'This year, we have an exceptionally strong field of candidates. Each one is a talented, well-qualified Democrat who would be a vast improvement over the current occupant of the White House." Does Harken not know that neither Wesley Clark nor Al Sharpton have ever held an elected office." I like and respect each one of them,' Harkin said to cheers at Dean's headquarters in Des Moines." Does Harken not know that Al Sharpton has spent time in Jail.
"The backing of Harkin, who ran for president in 1992 but lost in the primaries to Bill Clinton, comes as Dean confronts a barrage of criticism." So Harkin was beaten by Clinton in 1992. Gore was defeated by Bush in 2000. Bradley, in turn, was struck down by Gore in 2000. Dean's GOT to be happy with that many "winners" endorsing him.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
"The backing of Harkin, who ran for president in 1992 but lost in the primaries to Bill Clinton, comes as Dean confronts a barrage of criticism." So Harkin was beaten by Clinton in 1992. Gore was defeated by Bush in 2000. Bradley, in turn, was struck down by Gore in 2000. Dean's GOT to be happy with that many "winners" endorsing him.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Friday
Nothing from the Arabs?
In response to this story on the BBC
Mr Free Market over in the UK had this to say regarding this Brit,Robert Kilroy-Silk , being fired for writing an article titled "We Owe the Arabs Nothing".
An English Man over in his UK castle had this to say in Mr Kilroy-Silk's defense as well.
I agree the guy shouldn't have been fired for what he said, and what he said mainly was can anyone think of any contribution to humanity the Arabs have made? He couldn't but I did or think I did anyway. I took a quick run through my memory banks and came up with a few thoughts.
What about um...Algebra? I am pretty sure about that one.
Arabic numerals? I know they invented that one also.
Lawrence of Arabia? Ok they didn't give us him but somebody(not Arabs I think) made a pretty cool movie about him anyway,
Arabian Horses? Well at least they are named after the region.
Civilization? At least it was supposedly started in that Area.
I know it been a while since they came up with the ones they did come up with but we are still using some of them.
It's more than nothing. A fair bit more. But no reason to can someone for disagreeing with me on this or the Arabs.
UPDATE: Mr Kilroy-Silk wasn't speaking of historical contribution. He was actually asking what current contribution do they make? Other than a few good blogs, well, Ok he's got me there.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Mr Free Market over in the UK had this to say regarding this Brit,Robert Kilroy-Silk , being fired for writing an article titled "We Owe the Arabs Nothing".
An English Man over in his UK castle had this to say in Mr Kilroy-Silk's defense as well.
I agree the guy shouldn't have been fired for what he said, and what he said mainly was can anyone think of any contribution to humanity the Arabs have made? He couldn't but I did or think I did anyway. I took a quick run through my memory banks and came up with a few thoughts.
What about um...Algebra? I am pretty sure about that one.
Arabic numerals? I know they invented that one also.
Lawrence of Arabia? Ok they didn't give us him but somebody(not Arabs I think) made a pretty cool movie about him anyway,
Arabian Horses? Well at least they are named after the region.
Civilization? At least it was supposedly started in that Area.
I know it been a while since they came up with the ones they did come up with but we are still using some of them.
It's more than nothing. A fair bit more. But no reason to can someone for disagreeing with me on this or the Arabs.
UPDATE: Mr Kilroy-Silk wasn't speaking of historical contribution. He was actually asking what current contribution do they make? Other than a few good blogs, well, Ok he's got me there.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
To the Moon Alice, and This Time to Stay.
FOXNews.com - Politics - Bush to Announce New Missions to Moon, Mars
People have been on the moon during my lifetime, I am happy to say, but you know what? I only didn't know it at the time being in diapers and all. But I always felt sorta cheated that it didn't happen again after I started talking, going potty, and forming permanent memories as well as forming permanent memories about talking about going potty.
If we go back in the next 10 years, I will be one ecstatic monkey let me tell you. space monkey that is. I am pretty thrilled just knowing it's being seriously considered. Because we need know people are talking about giving our kids a ride to go potty up there. And what a permanent memory that will be.
People have been on the moon during my lifetime, I am happy to say, but you know what? I only didn't know it at the time being in diapers and all. But I always felt sorta cheated that it didn't happen again after I started talking, going potty, and forming permanent memories as well as forming permanent memories about talking about going potty.
If we go back in the next 10 years, I will be one ecstatic monkey let me tell you. space monkey that is. I am pretty thrilled just knowing it's being seriously considered. Because we need know people are talking about giving our kids a ride to go potty up there. And what a permanent memory that will be.
Wednesday
Arrrrrgggghhhhh!!
I posted a bunch of, trust me on this one, great comments (y'know, I alllll-most made that a capital G great but they really weren't THAT great) on other blogs about that obvious satire piece, the S factor. And then was going to link to them here on the monkey. And show you, gentle reader, my acerbic wit and wow you with my wonderful witterly wittastic witwomping.
And then, like a middle earth army of the dead, the PHB walks by, I suavely, coolly and immediately go into utter, complete, panic mode and do a quick close all on all my precious, precious explorer instances and my precious comments go into the ether. The blood in my ears thundered like a herd of mustangs.
Here it is hours later, I've been looking, looking, looking and looking and haven't found a single bleeping blog I commented on regarding that load of tripe and now I'm sitting here fuming and yes, wondering what tripe tastes like and fuming some more and this load of tripe is all I can come up with.
Thanks for coming by anyway, both of you.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
And then, like a middle earth army of the dead, the PHB walks by, I suavely, coolly and immediately go into utter, complete, panic mode and do a quick close all on all my precious, precious explorer instances and my precious comments go
Here it is hours later, I've been looking, looking, looking and looking and haven't found a single bleeping blog I commented on regarding that load of tripe and now I'm sitting here fuming and yes, wondering what tripe tastes like and fuming some more and this load of tripe is all I can come up with.
Thanks for coming by anyway, both of you.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Hmmm maybe a catchy verbal description of a pie chart would have been better - Satire Alert
Newsday.com: Kucinich 'Shows' Pie Chart on Radio Debate
Answering his critics, Kucinich said he will display the pie chart on his refrigerator at home so any who missed it on NPR will have ample opportunity to examine at their leisure.
Kucinich has further asked that when his campaign commercials are aired, for anyone who might be watching to cover up if they happen to be dressing or are undressed when the commercials air. He said that people on TV watching him in the privacy of his own home has always gave him the 'heeby jeebies' and he wants to take steps to avoid a scandal involving any suggestion he's watching anyone inappropriately. Kucinich then challenged the ACLU to looked into this violation of privacy. Further he vowed to 'work the system from the inside' if he's elected in 2004.
Other bright ideas include a program to encourage the dead to vote more. Registration drives which are taking place in cemeteries throughout Iowa and New Hampshire, in an ongoing under-the-grassroots movement. Kucinich said 'Turnout to the events has been lower than I'd expected. Considering the fact that voter turnout among of the dead is only significant in states of Illinois and Louisiana and practically nonexistant everywhere else, if we can get just one, just one of the deceased to vote in the upcoming primary, that wouldn't have otherwise, I will consider the effort to have been effective.'
Disclaimer: The content of this post should in no way be construed as factual. Unless the scenes, conversations and events I am depicting in satirical work have actually occured and I didn't know it. If that turns out to be the case then, you read it here first.
Answering his critics, Kucinich said he will display the pie chart on his refrigerator at home so any who missed it on NPR will have ample opportunity to examine at their leisure.
Kucinich has further asked that when his campaign commercials are aired, for anyone who might be watching to cover up if they happen to be dressing or are undressed when the commercials air. He said that people on TV watching him in the privacy of his own home has always gave him the 'heeby jeebies' and he wants to take steps to avoid a scandal involving any suggestion he's watching anyone inappropriately. Kucinich then challenged the ACLU to looked into this violation of privacy. Further he vowed to 'work the system from the inside' if he's elected in 2004.
Other bright ideas include a program to encourage the dead to vote more. Registration drives which are taking place in cemeteries throughout Iowa and New Hampshire, in an ongoing under-the-grassroots movement. Kucinich said 'Turnout to the events has been lower than I'd expected. Considering the fact that voter turnout among of the dead is only significant in states of Illinois and Louisiana and practically nonexistant everywhere else, if we can get just one, just one of the deceased to vote in the upcoming primary, that wouldn't have otherwise, I will consider the effort to have been effective.'
Disclaimer: The content of this post should in no way be construed as factual. Unless the scenes, conversations and events I am depicting in satirical work have actually occured and I didn't know it. If that turns out to be the case then, you read it here first.
Tuesday
Things I've discovered
If you claim you bought a lottery ticket and then lost it, you can sue the lottery commission to withhold the money from the legal owner when they come forward to claim it.
If you are five foot eight inches tall and you get former New York Knicks Players/former New Jersey Senators to endorse your presidential candidacy, you stand beside them for the briefest,tiniest period of time possible, they will still stoop down to show how much shorter you are.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
If you are five foot eight inches tall and you get former New York Knicks Players/former New Jersey Senators to endorse your presidential candidacy, you stand beside them for the briefest,tiniest period of time possible, they will still stoop down to show how much shorter you are.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Monday
Good news lefties
The American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania is hiring!
I was afraid to click to find out what exactly a "Legal Intake" is.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!! Faaarrrr away from that one.
I was afraid to click to find out what exactly a "Legal Intake" is.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!! Faaarrrr away from that one.
!
!,?.'-:;/
Strange, how limited our punctuation is.
Strange, how little there seems to me to say about that.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Strange, how limited our punctuation is.
Strange, how little there seems to me to say about that.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Friday
Ignorance Abated
My impatience finally overcame my laziness, as a result I overcame my ignorance by finally looking the whole syndication thing up. I understand how, I've seen it done, I just don't understand completely why.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Showing my ignorance
Like you (probably) I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis.
I have noticed something on a lot of blogs
Your blog (probably) has something like this on it.
Syndicate this site (XML)
this is usu. linked to a file with an .rdf extension.
I know I could (probably) look this up some where on a blog about blogging and get the answer But I'll let you have YOUR say as to what this means and if you know of any site that is syndicated (whatever that means) I'm in the dark on this one. BTW I do know what xml is.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
I have noticed something on a lot of blogs
Your blog (probably) has something like this on it.
Syndicate this site (XML)
this is usu. linked to a file with an .rdf extension.
I know I could (probably) look this up some where on a blog about blogging and get the answer But I'll let you have YOUR say as to what this means and if you know of any site that is syndicated (whatever that means) I'm in the dark on this one. BTW I do know what xml is.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Dean Update
Dean touts a 'Jesus strategy' - The Washington Times: Nation/Politics
Dean has announced he plans to mention God and Jesus when he tours the south.
I wonder, why make such an announcement? Does he really think we Southerners are such yokels that we can't read between the lines of announcements like 'Dean has announced he plans to mention God and Jesus when he tours the south' and see Dean has announced he thinks Southerners are stupid and will follow blindly if someone pays lipservice to God and Jesus when he tours the south..
When he plans to tour Utah will he announce he is a follower of Joseph Smith?
When he speaks to an atheists club will he announce he thinks all religion is a bunch of hooey but wink, wink, nudge, nudge he's got them religious Christian Southern morons roped in, just play along?
Time will tell, But announcing to the effect of 'Hey, Southerners like that God and Jesus stuff, I'm gonna spread that and I think they'll fall for it', is foolishness on a grand scale.
What do you think?
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Dean has announced he plans to mention God and Jesus when he tours the south.
I wonder, why make such an announcement? Does he really think we Southerners are such yokels that we can't read between the lines of announcements like 'Dean has announced he plans to mention God and Jesus when he tours the south' and see Dean has announced he thinks Southerners are stupid and will follow blindly if someone pays lipservice to God and Jesus when he tours the south..
When he plans to tour Utah will he announce he is a follower of Joseph Smith?
When he speaks to an atheists club will he announce he thinks all religion is a bunch of hooey but wink, wink, nudge, nudge he's got them religious Christian Southern morons roped in, just play along?
Time will tell, But announcing to the effect of 'Hey, Southerners like that God and Jesus stuff, I'm gonna spread that and I think they'll fall for it', is foolishness on a grand scale.
What do you think?
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Thursday
Hoppy Gnu Ear!!!!
2004
Hope you and yours have a safe and prosperous new year. And a big cheery THANK YOU to the police and armed forces that saw to it no terror attacks took place overnight. As well as all the city state and federal officals who lost no telling how much sleep planning security for the night's celebratory events. It was a good job all around and the best news was no news.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Hope you and yours have a safe and prosperous new year. And a big cheery THANK YOU to the police and armed forces that saw to it no terror attacks took place overnight. As well as all the city state and federal officals who lost no telling how much sleep planning security for the night's celebratory events. It was a good job all around and the best news was no news.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Gem
"Tell me and I forget, teach me, and I may remember, involve me and I learn." -- Benjamin Franklin
There's something to that.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
There's something to that.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
DNS woes
Can't see my own blog because some DNS goofup according to blogger. More reason to get my own domain I guess.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
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