Responding to critics that he has 'flip flopped' on several issues for which he has been visibly critical of President Bush yet supported vocally as well as with his vote in the Senate, Democratic hopeful Sen. John Kerry (D- Massachusetts) had the following rebuttal:
"I have never flip flopped on any issue. To me the concept of a flip flop is cheap, common, vulgar and is a blatant unpatriotic attack on my spotless war record. And we never, ever flip flopped in Viet Nam during the war. "
"I may clog up the issues. I may slide here and there regarding an issue or two. I may at times sandal about an issue if I so choose. Yet, I would prefer to be considered one who Birkenstock's frequently and expensively on the issues, any issue. But this accusation that I 'flip flop' [spits], sacre bleu! moi? no, no, no! I apologise for being such a mule about this.
This fake news story brought to you by Kerry Flip Flops. Remember friends, Kerry Flip Flops with their patented 'waffled sole', provide the perfect balance of support, or not, you need in casual footwear. They come in PAC's of one, so use one on whichever leg you are trying to stand at the moment.