Under fire of most hurtful accusations to date, George W. Bush, this morning released his complete credit card records to the public domain. Examination of the records reveals a late December 2003 payment was made to an account linked to the accounts receivable department of the TimeWarner media conglomerate holding 'America Online', also known as AOL.
This afternoon, President Bush, in a prepared statement, admitted he had been connected to AOL in the past.
" I was drawn in by AOL's cool commercials involving the cast of West Coast Choppers. Watching those guys argue and build custom choppers is great fun. They are great Americans living the Great American Dream. Also the speed that was promised during those commercials was quite enticing. I had hoped to fast forward to November and hurry up and thrash any French looking treasonmongerin' opponent I might happen to face in the General Elections.
I canceled the AOL account when I realized it was slower to connect than a left leanin' media outlet connects to a French kissin' scandal. Ok, that was unfair, AOL WOULD connect in less than two days. Anyway, I'm goin' broadband. Pro'bly cable."
This reporter for one, is glad to put this ugly ugly,chapter behind us.
This fake news story brought to you by BIG Cable Internet. Remember friends, BIG Cable Internet says 'Dialup bites and AOL sucks'