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Hello (Again) World

I am back to blog once more. Yes really, I read an interesting piece today, the subject of which falls in the the road to hell is paved wit...


See there? I told you so.

Laugh at me will you for wearing an aluminum foil hat to bed,work, church etc? Somebody, and not just any somebody, mind you, the US government's space agency admits they got their mind-read-o-tron working. NASA has developed a 'mind-reading' system and you can read more about it here here.

Well, who's laughing now?

Me, that's who. But in all fairness I was actually laughing before too.

Saving Lives and Staining Teeth

There will probably never be a good measure to how many lives have been saved due to the invention of coffee.

Properly and frequently brewed pots o' joe keep the nice folks at my work safe from dark forces on a daily basis.

The pot I brew daily at home keeps the idiots commuters on the I-165 Interstate connector seeing daylight, instead of fiery catastrophe too. And thats a good thing. Nobody wants a big fiery catastrophe first thing in the morning.

Yep it's a lifesaver. An unsung hero. I'll tell you what it is, it's wonderful aromatic anti-homicide juice.

I wonder, do they have coffee service on the International Space Station or aboard the Space Shuttle for that matter? I'd like to find out.

Well, gotta jet, time for another cup. A fresh pot's done. I can smell it already. Mmmmm.

Plus they're all safe from angry inner monkeys for a while longer.


Top 10 Lessons for President Bush from The Left Wingers

10 If there are unfounded allegations against you. Wellllll, that's all the proof we need. You're guilty!

9 Attack ads only work against you, not Kerry and even if they do work against Kerry we'll make sure that little morsel get's spun left.

8 If you did something right in the past, you didn't actually do it, we've got the witnesses to prove it.

7 Even if the economy is better here than everywhere else in the world, it still sucks. And it's your fault.
6 You could legalize pot, marry Newt Gingrich and outlaw automobiles thus stopping global warming and we'd probably still hate you.

5 If you do something with only the support of 30 or so nations, it's a unilateral cowboy action.

4 Even though there are no Death Squads, concentration camps, suppression of free speech or Master Race, you are still Hitler.

3 Even though you have as many minorities represented in your admin as Clinton, you are still a racist.

2 If you do something, you either shouldn't have done it, should have done it differently or you're just gonna be ignored be cause it might help you if the media covers it.

And the Number One Lesson for President Bush from The Left Wingers

1 Did we mention that you are Hitler? Well, you are.


There are two..

Seems like there's two of everything these days.

I recall hearing the John Edwards anthem "there are two Americas."
"Today under George W. Bush, there are two Americas, not one. One America does the work, while another America reaps the reward. One America pays the taxes, while another America gets the tax breaks,"
The business of one does the work and one gets the rewards sounds an awful lot like welfare/entitlement programs to me. But what do I know being a stupid Republican?

Then it seems there are two John Kerry's. And that was according to Howard Dean. You know, the guy that just endorsed Kerry. I guess there are two Howard Deans too. Of course the flip floppiness of Kerry is well known I've commented on it myself once or twice. But I thought this was cute.

Now it would appear there are two Dick Clarkes too.

And no I don't mean there's the American Bandstand, News Year's Rockin' Eve, Never Growing Old Dick Clark and the counter terrorism head Dick Clarke. They do both exist but that not what I'm saying. I mean there's two of the second one, the one's that's got an 'e' in his name. 'E' as in evil.

There's the Dick Clarke that supported and lauded the president's posture and grip on terrorism when he was working for the Gov't here's a quote
...Bush administration decided then, you know, in late January, to do two things. One, vigorously pursue the existing policy, including all of the lethal covert action findings, which we've now made public to some extent.
and the Dick Clarke with the book for sale that doesn't think Bush had a grip on diddly squat. An excerpt of this article reveals Clarke's current position:
"Frankly," he said, "I find it outrageous that the president is running for re-election on the grounds that he's done such great things about terrorism. He ignored it. He ignored terrorism for months, when maybe we could have done something to stop 9/11. Maybe. We'll never know."
Recap Then: "Bush ...decided...in late January, to...vigorously pursue the existing policy.
Now: "he [Bush] ignored terrorism or months".
Isn't the inaguration in January? Yep thought so.

So, it seems like more and more there's two of everybody and they just can't seem to get their stories (lies?) straight.

Maybe we could have a rule: If you change your position,Instead of pretending you never said what you said, you could just say something like "I was a wrong, dumb, misinformed, bad decision making dunderhead back then, now I am on my meds and I'm much smarter now."

Sounds reasonable to me, especially considering how the search engine makes everything availible for practically all time. But what do I know? I'm still that stupid Republican.

Kerry Claims "Unnamed" European Leaders Support Him for President {Best of FSMC}

{Repeat of March 16,2004}
After Senator Kerry made the claim various foreign leaders have encouraged him to beat Bush in 2004, the names have not been forthcoming. In a bid to defend himself against cries to release those names of Sen. Kerry has offered the following statement.
I will not give up their names. Not even if I could, some of them don't have names, per se. They are more "power behind the throne" types, not names most outside of the elite would recognize. You probably haven't seen photos of most of them, as the majority of them don't have visible reflections. Some live in caves or some are in U.S. custody, some are in exile from their island nations and some rule their Island of Doom Strongholds with a peaceful iron fist. It would be unfair to bring their nefarious yet peaceful causes to light. They don't like light.
However, the newly elected Spanish president, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, has been vocal in his support of an America ruled by John Kerry. Zapatero said
I think Kerry will win. I want Kerry to win. We leftist Socialists have to stick together.
The response from Kerry's campaign headquarters was along the lines of "Hah! See there? I wasn't lying.... Wait, did he just call me a socialist? Merde!"

This Fake News story brought to you by the John Kerry Supporter Protection Program. Remember friends, the nice folks at the John Kerry Supporter Protection Program say, "We can get you a new name, new birthday and new driver's license in a new city. Basically, we'll help you start over with a new and conservative seeming identity. And no matter what, no one ever has to know you ever supported that frog."

I must be some kind of moron.

I set up a fan blog for Frank J. of IMAO.

Now it's getting much more traffic than this blog.


Hold Your Fire, W

Back up, I've been thinking again.

I was thinking about the upcoming presidential election. And I realized something.

Kerry is NOT the democratic nominee, yet.

I know Duh, right? But if efforts to weaken support for him this early on in the campaign actually work, by the time the Democtatic Party Convention finally comes around he will be a beaten and defeated man even before he is actually beaten and defeated. The dems, who aren't total idiots, won't want to run a candidate who appears already beaten and defeated. They're likely to nominate Edwards or Clark or even...her (may her name never be mentioned), just to have a chance at winning the thing.

Save some torpedoes, W. and don't sink him yet. The time to destroy the enemy is when he truly IS the enemy not just the presumptive enemy. And when I say 'enemy' I mean democratic nominee. And when I say 'destroy' I mean, well, ok I mean destroy, but in a non permanent way.

I think a defensive posture is best for the president for now.

Think about it.


Mars Had Standing Water

The graphic they put up leading in to the science update read "Opportunity Hits The Beach, Will Begin Momentarily"

Having said before that evidence was leading them to believe the rocks were weathered by water, They are taking it a step further.

Based on their best evidence and best minds the NASA scientists are saying that the rocks around the Opportunity rover were formed in water, possibly a shallow sea. The layering on some rocks indicate, upon close examination, that flowing or rippling water was the cause of the sedimentation.

They added that they plan to send the next Lander/rover that is scheduled to go to Mars, the Mars Science Laboratory to this same Meridiani Planum region to continue the research. It will be nuclear powered and will have sample return capability.

Pretty cool stuff. Also they didn't act nearly as nerdy as last time. Just a little nerdy.

Update: complete report from space.com

More Big News On the Way From NASA Re: MARS

Acording to SPACE.COM NASA is to Announce a 'Major' Discovery by the Opportunity Mars Rover at 2 p.m. ET

That's 1 p.m. CT, I'll let you know what they say. The Man is on a business trip to Europe, so no preemptions are foreseen.

Hmmm, major discovery, my mind boggles....

Could it have found life?
Could it found a big a sloshy rusty mud puddle and then gotten stuck in it?
Could it have found the lens cover for my daughter's telescope which has been missing for months?

Maybe. Who knows what they might have found. We'll find out in just a few minutes.

Hey! I forgot to mention we (citizens of earth) almost got hit by a space rock the other day. How'd ya'll let me get away with that? Oh yeah, I was at Space Camp.


After DHMO-Related Accident, Kerry calls for Ban

After repeated slips on the ski slopes of Iowa cause Democratic Presidential Hopeful and snowboarder extraordinaire John Kerry to lose his world reknowned composure and curse, Kerry sought an answer to explain how a superior person such as he could have fallen down on the slopes. He found the answer he sought at an environmental activist site.
I don't fall, that DHMO pushed me
What is this activist site actively active against? A chemical compound with the little known name DiHydrogenMonOxide or DHMO for short. The Senator from Massachussets had this to say.
I believe this DHMO stuff is so prevalent that my snow board pressed it out off the snow, decreasing friction, causing me to fall. If DHMO leeching out can cause a world class snowboarding expert like me to fall, one can only imagine the damage that any of you lesser sons of [BLEEP]s would be subjected to. We gotta ban this stuff. It's contributing to greenhouse warming, causing erosion and it's actually causes many injuries and deaths annually. Why can't we have a president that cares about these things? The answer? You and I both know we don't....But we CAN...and we WILL.

I care...about my own safety and in some small measure yours as well. And I won't ask anyone to be the last one to die because of DHMO, I'm gonna ban it.
The movement to ban DHMO has been ongoing since 1997. The City of Aliso Viejo, California has reportedly made inroads to outlaw DHMO use there.

This Fake News story brought to you by the word Gullible. Remember friends, the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary, not in mine anyway since I marked it out.


Kerry: With Me America is Gonna be [BLEEP]ing Great

In typical Kerry fashion, Sen John Kerry describes an America with him at the helm. He made this statement at the Longshoremen's Union in Duh, Mass.
I tell you, with that mother[BLEEP]er Bush in charge, America has been one big [BLEEP] up after another. And its turning into one big steaming pile of dog [BLEEP]. With me America is gonna be [BLEEP]ing great. I'm gonna kick the [BLEEP] out of [BLEEP]ing unemployment. [BLEEP]ing A! I'm gonna pull our troops out of [BLEEP]ing Iraq, and [BLEEP]ing Afghanistan. Those sons of [BLEEP]es have been there too [BLEEP]ing long. [BLEEP], yeah!

I tell you another thing, that [BLEEP]hole, that [BLEEP]sucker in the [BLEEP]ing White House has [BLEEP]ed us in the [BLEEP] for the last [BLEEP]ing time. Not that I am against people [BLEEP]ing each other in the [BLEEP] all they want. But that is beside the point. [BLEEP] us will you, Mr President? NO, Mr President [BLEEP] you, [BLEEP]head.
Kerry was asked by one of the Longshoremen present if he thought he used profanity a little too much. He responded
Listen up you sissy [BLEEP], I was a [BLEEP][BLEEP] sailor in Viet [BLEEP]ing Nam. I [BLEEP]ing curse. Get [BLEEP]ing used to it.
Kerry then kissed his wife with that mouth. Who commented something about "like kissing an [BLEEP] of evil right on the button".

This Fake News brought to you by John [BLEEP]'n Kerry. Remember friends, John [BLEEP]'n Kerry says"Don't be a dumb[BLEEP]. Vote for me, John [BLEEP]'n Kerry or you can go [BLEEP] yourself. [BLEEP]er!"


Back at the Ranch

Ok it's ranch style not exactly a ranch, But it is home.

Didn't feel up to blogging last night after a 7 hour trip back from the US Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville. Just felt like spending time with my wife and girls whom I hadn't seen in a few days.

Why a 7 hour trip this time when the trip up was only 6? Well, there's this interstate bridge that's about 5 mile long on the approach to home. The arch of the bridge has only two lane and no shoulder, in one of those lanes was a firetruck, a couple of police cruisers and I guess what was left of a vehicle when we got to it. So that had traffic reduced to a crawl for about 2 miles. So that delayed us about an hour.

The final 1/2 day of our US Space Camp/AstroTrek adventure involved getting the boys packed and out of our 'hab', or habitation module, space camp talk for dormitory. Eating a decent breakfast. Then another IMAX movie with another wonderful cup of prohibited coffee. The movie, 'Space Station' was really good, most of it was filmed on the ISS during missions to build it or supply it. Very good, I think Matthew Broderick narrated it.

Then we shopped in the rather large gift shop for about an hour, I spent $75 on souvenirs for myself the daughter with me, the two little monkeys at home and of course Mrs SpaceMonkey.

Then the kids flew their tissue paper hot air balloons. Some went really high. Some not so much, but the kids seemed to enjoy flying what they'd built. Then we loaded up the bus and then..well I already told you about the bus ride.

But the best part was when it was over and getting to reunite with my little family.

Overall, Despite the things that were exactly ideal, it was really great trip. And it's great to be home.


Space Camp Day 2

Ok, I am live here in the chaparone's room at space camp! Again!

Well, today was different. Turns out 30 minutes isn't near enough time for 20 boys and 3 men to get ready using 4 sinks. We wound up being late for breakfast and only had a grand total of 10 minutes to eat breakfast. I scarfed mine down in a manner I've seen SEAL candidates eat their meals, due to fanship of the learning channel (TLC). I may have been the only one to finish out of our group.

Then we went to an IMAX movie. I took my coffee in direct violation of the posted 'no outside food or drink' sign. No one tried to take my coffee. It was a win-win situation with regard to the coffee.

'Straight Up' was the title of the movie and it was about the helicopters. Pretty good flick except most of the voice over was by Martin Sheen who I disagree with on just about every political matter. Showed lots of ways helicopters are used today. Did you know linemen are lowered onto powerlines to do service on them from helicopters? I didn't. We saw a flying ambulance pluck a avalanche victim out of the ice. We saw the DEA stop a gand of drug smugglers with their helicopter. We watched a Coast Guard Rescue operation using a helicopter. And of course they showed troops being dropped off 'behind enemy lines' and picked up. Did I mention I drank coffee during the whole movie?

I grabbed another cup of coffee after that on the way to the next exercise. Building a paper rocket. These were launched using compressed air. My girls went the highest, even though not the farthest. I was proud.

We rode the space shot, twice. One girl got a panic attack after getting off of this ride.

Then the g-force accelerator which basically spun the living crap out of you. ~40 MPH in was what the ride person said. This was a tight circle around 25 feet in diameter.

Then we made a hot air ballon out of tissue paper. This took about 5 years or so to accomplish. At least it seemed that long. This is where we learned our counselor for the morning (not Lyle) wasn't as easy going as we'd come to expect. Kinda uptight, he kept taking us to places which had lots of seats and getting upset when people would sit down, go figure. Knew his stuff well enough,but had control issues though I guess.

Then lunch of a corn dog and onion rings and diet coke. Kinda spare if you ask me. I got seconds on the onion rings they were pretty good.

I rode the multiaxis trainer, like the one on the space camp movie. My girl came down witha migraine after that. To sick bay we went. I gave her her medicine and she took a nap, I took a nap. 30 minutes later she feels better and so do I.

When we got to supper there was no food left. They had to make chicken fingers for our group.

I'm beat, I'm hitting the rack, more to follow tomorrow, maybe. Fake news too maybe.

And NO Shane, we didn't get meet Jinx. Turns out they scrapped him for parts to repair a vacuum cleaner. And the Shuttle was in the shop for overhaul.


Guess what? Space Camp has Internet!

Ok, I am live here in the chaparone's room at space camp!
After a 6 hour bus ride with 41 fifth graders. We made it. Our group of 41 kids was split up into two groups. We were assigned a counselor named Lyle, seems like nice kid. Of course I think I probably know more about this space stuff than he does. But you can tell he really likes space and kids so he's nice kid just the same. I think my daughter may have a little crush on him. But it may just be she loves all things space and merely associates him with space camp.

Lyle gave us a tour of part of the rocket park primarily the genuine Saturn V Rocket as well as the mockup which is lit up at night and you can see from literally miles away. Its a whopping 365 feet tall. just like the real thing, but like I said they have the real thing lying on its side separated into its stages as well.

He gave us a nice walking tour of part of the indoor museum accompanied by a short talk about the history of rocketry from the invention of gunpowder up to about the Gemini program. Along the way he talked about all the monkeys they've used in the US space program.

You know, the space monkeys.

There were 4 in all Able, Baker, Ham and Enos. I took pictures. I will get them up here on the FSMC as soon as I get home.

Had supper which was better than expected. Chicken fingers and really good salad. Plus all the 'seconds' you can eat in 30 minutes. Not too shabby.

We went on what can only be called a 'try to wear the kids out but actually wear the chaperones out' scavenger hunt which took us all over the indoor museum to answser quations about the space program. Now I am beat. We'll be going on all the simulators tomorrow as well as seeing an IMAX movie or 2, also on the schedule is the aviation challenge complex.

I got my space camp tshirt as they promised. So I'll be stylin' in it on the way home Friday.

It's up at 7 in the morning and then a full day on all the stuff I said earlier.
Highlight of the day? My daughter asked lot of really smart questions and knew loads of the answers that the couselor asked. That's my little spacemonkey.

Me? I'm hitting the rack. Long day behind, longer day ahead.

Gone To Space Camp

I'm gone to Space Camp with my daughter and her class till Friday. It's gonna be great!

I'll be blogging if they have internet access. But no promises.

SpaceMonkey - Out


Kerry Claims "Unnamed" European Leaders Support Him for President

After Senator Kerry made the claim various foreign leaders have encouraged him to beat Bush in 2004, the names have not been forthcoming. In a bid to defend himself against cries to release those names of Sen. Kerry has offered the following statement.
I will not give up their names. Not even if I could, some of them don't have names, per se. They are more "power behind the throne" types, not names most outside of the elite would recognize. You probably haven't seen photos of most of them, as the majority of them don't have visible reflections. Some live in caves or some are in U.S. custody, some are in exile from their island nations and some rule their Island of Doom Strongholds with a peaceful iron fist. It would be unfair to bring their nefarious yet peaceful causes to light. They don't like light.
However, the newly elected Spanish president, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, has been vocal in his support of an America ruled by John Kerry. Zapatero said
I think Kerry will win. I want Kerry to win. We leftist Socialists have to stick together.
The response from Kerry's campaign headquarters was along the lines of "Hah! See there? I wasn't lying.... Wait, did he just call me a socialist? Merde!"

This Fake News story brought to you by the John Kerry Supporter Protection Program. Remember friends, the nice folks at the John Kerry Supporter Protection Program say, "We can get you a new name, new birthday and new driver's license in a new city. Basically, we'll help you start over with a new and conservative seeming identity. And no matter what, no one ever has to know you ever supported that frog."


Planetoid News Coverage Preempted

Well, the Man stepped in and foiled my plans to watch and report on the live news report on the planet sized object discovery.

Space.com finally has this blurb on the subject.

New planet discovery to be announced

An Australian news source reports a New planet discovery to be announced
The body is believed to be about 2010km across, but may even be larger than the furthest known planet, Pluto, which is 2262km across and was discovered in 1930.
And according to the report, it's going to be called Sedna. Sedna? Why not Gondor or Krypton or even something bland like Sol 10? Sedna sounds like a sugar substitute not a planet.

Strange though no coverage on www.space.com. I was thinking the Aussies got into some bad vegemite or something. How you could ever tell it was worse than regular vegemite I cannot say.
Then I found this article at nasa.gov. The tell there'll be a nasa TV Special.
The discovery of a mysterious object in our solar system is the topic of a listen-and-log-on news briefing on Monday, March 15, at 1 p.m. EST.
I'll try to cover it with my special eye for whatever it is I have a special eye for.

Not that I have a 'special' eye in the normal way people mean 'special'. Also contrary to anything you might read elsewhere it has no more superpower than the other eye. Or less.


Projects Come First

I have projects that I have to mature before I can go on the Space Camp field trip with my daughter.

So less blogging and more overtime.

Blog at you later.

Update: Here's a topic for you to discuss amongst yourselves while I'm away.

Kerry: Harmless Idiot or Dangerous Imbecile?


About Me

My official 'about me' post, with as much vague info I can muster.

I am a guy, a married guy, a dad guy, a Christian guy.
I have an American heritage at least 5 generations deep in every branch of my family tree.
I was raised on a farm in the deep South. Specifically Alabama.
I have traveled a bit, never out of the states though.
I now live in a city in Alabama.
I have been a geek pretty much all my life.
I was a big fan of Curious George books growing up.
I used to read encyclopedias for fun.
I went to space camp in Huntsville, AL as a kid. I'll be taking my oldest daughter there for a school field trip next week.
I like Sci Fi books, movies, television shows and computer games, did I mention I am a geek?
I acted some in high school, playing Sherlock Holmes in one particular play
I use to dream of becoming an astronaut till that dream was squashed by harsh reality.
I won a scholarship for highest science ACT score in my home county.
I went to college. I met my wife there.
I like to say bizarre things to get a reaction out of people.
I love sailing ships, aircraft and spacecraft.
I enjoy researching my genealogy.
I can't resist playing with magnets.
I started this blog at the prompting of a friend.
I still don't know where this blog is going but I can't seem to stop, but I can, it seems, pause for a day or two in a row. Stopping doesn't seem to be a option for me, however. For that I am really and truly sorry.

Would ya look at all those I's? Almost makes me seem conceited.


Bush Brushes Teeth, Kerry: I Would Have Brushed Better.

This morning, President Bush brushed his teeth. According to reliable sources, he only took about half a minute. Democratic Party faithful are outraged that the president would brush when so many in the US don't have adequate dental care and many lose teeth daily to tooth decay caused by the lack of federal funding to promote tooth care and due to the dearth of regulation to punish companies that make sweet desserts.

Others are upset not so much that he brushed but that he did such a poor job. The image of President Bush taking care of his teeth in such a haphazard way evoked the ire of his critics. Presidential hopeful John Kerry blasts, 'I would have brushed better. The American people deserve better than a president who doesn't brush his molars, doesn't know the meaning of the word 'floss' and doesn't even own mouthwash. Mr. President, you want the tooth? You can't handle the tooth!."

This Fake News brought to you by the DNC and the Dentist Association of Massachusetts. Remember friends DNC and the Dentist Association of Massachusetts say 'Bush Lied, Teeth Died.'



There is a ' If the presidential election were held this week, who would you vote for?' poll on MSNBS. By the way, the article is interesting too. But be sure to vote.

Right now Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 180171 votes cast.

Can we improve this? I think we can.

Update: Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 183982 votes cast.
Update: Komrade Kerry is ahead with 56% to Brother Bush's 40% and Nutcase Naders's 4% with 185973 votes cast. Do I sense a pattern here? It's almost, I say almost like those percentages are fixed what do you think?
Update: Kerry 56%, Bush 40%, Nader 4% with 187051 votes cast. Nope nope nope, No monkey business here. Nah, this is probably just the first poll ever that the percentages NEVER, EVER CHANGE. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Update: Kerry 63%, Bush 34%, Nader 3% with 10123 ?? votes cast. What in the world is going on? Now there's LESS votes than before?

I am screaming.

You know*, I used to make really great chimpanzee noises. Maybe I still can. What am I talking about? Of course I still can. I am the king of monkey chatter, besides a real monkey that is. Well actually, I was never crowned king. But that's beside the point.

And what exactly is the point? I am screaming today, not any sort of monkey scream mind you but screaming just the same. I'm not making any sort of awesome monkey gestures though, they go way better with the monkey noises than without them. Without the monkey noises the monkey gestures really just look plain silly.

But I am screaming just the same. Well, not screaming out loud so much, that'd wake the little monkeys. No, its really more of an internal scream, one you'd hear if I could project my mind into your head. Don't get me started on how cool that would be. For me. Other folks wouldn't like it. That's a given. But with that kind of power I don't think it would bother me what happened to the 'little' people. Ok. Back on subject, screaming.

So. why am I screaming inside my head? Why its because I am sitting here looking at all the peoplessss who've been dropping by my little steaming pile of wonderousity this weekend, and I had nothing fresh for them to peruse, nothing, no fake news, no science nerd stuff, no...what that other stuff do I do? Well, whatever it is I didn't have any of it either. And that makes me sad. That's why I'd be screaming now if I were in a good place to scream, like in the car on the way to work. My comfy chair is not suitable for screaming.

But wait just a cotton picking minute. For most of ya'll its your first visit anyway so it's all fresh then. Right? Right. So I guess I don't feel so bad after all. Why I am even bothered that I've been shortchanging any old body. You've got my old stuff. Some of it is a real scream.

*I didn't really think you knew. you know?


Kerry Endorsed By Aliens

Following News that, if allowed to vote in U.S. elections, humanity would elect Kerry to be the next U.S. President, aliens of another kind announce they would elect him as well. Celebrations of Super Tuesday victories were interrupted Thursday Night when strange lights filled the sky as Kerry was allowing supporters at the event a sneak glimpse of his pick for VP.
VtnmBkpdl: Kerry Most Edible
Strobing lights and a throbbing eirie hum filled the arena as a saucer shaped metal craft landed. Then silence. An opening suddenly appeared in the side of the silvery vehicle and a hooded being then emerged and strode across the stage towards the startled Senator from Massachusetts, who by the way served in Viet Nam.

Using a form of mind-to-mind direct communication which boomed in the empty heads of all those present, the being identified himself as 3rd Prelate VtNmBkpdl of the FlpFlp Cluster and immediately expressed his ire for President Bush and his support for Senator Kerry.


At this point two long pale grey tentacles extended from the cloak which masked most of the alien's features. Many chuckled at the funny alien's joke. Then, to the cheers and applause of the crowd, VtNmBkpdl extended one tentacle towards Kerry who grasped it in a handshaking motion. At ths point a group of Kerry's supporters lined up by the dozen asking to be probed by the alien. The alien further expressed an interest in having many of those present for a meal on board his craft following the party.

The alien guaranteed his kind's help to control the exploding Human population of Earth if Kerry is elected, but offered few details as to what that help might be. VtNmBkpdl continued his mindspeak to provide the media a good soundbite
In a related story, France surrenders.

This fake news story brought to you by the Soylent Green Party. Remember friends, the Soylent Green Party says "WE'RE PEOPLE!"


Why Can`t Bush be More Like Kerry?

Bush using 911 for political gain? Hmmm, interesting. Then we have more from Kerry Spokesperson Stephanie Cutter who criticizes Bush campaign ads for including images from the 911 tragedy. Here's an excerpt.
Most astonishing, George Bush’s ad features a shot of the wreckage of that tragic September day almost 3 years ago, and the firefighters who so bravely worked to save lives.
I just wish Bush would quit using 911 for political gain, he should take the high road like Kerry has done.


Three Way Battle Royale for the Democratic Nomination.

Its a tight three way race for the Democratic Party Presidential Nomination.

With Edwards fist pumping his way back to South Carolina and with Kucinich a veritable shoo in to get the endorsement and delegates of all the dropouts, Sen. Kerry and former frontrunner Al Sharpton are both faced with the prospect of having to appear completely nutcase, utterly kooky, hopelessly fruitcake and totally fricking flacking bazoodlehopper in order to court the reality challenged constituency making up what is being called the 'Kucinich Clown Posse'.

Kerry and Sharpton both seem daunted in the face of the pie charting behemoth that is the Kucinich Election Machine. Now they must 'go it alone' without their usual sane man foils the suave Wesley Clark and the unflappable Howard Dean. Without the somber balance they brought to the candidate pool, the tone of the home stretch of the campaign will no doubt turn freakish.

This outlook has media outlets scambling for copies of Abnormal Psychology to determine appropriate and politically correct terms to describe Kucinichs political views as well as the expected reactions of his opponents to any public statements he may make.

This fake news story is brought to you by the City of Halifax Nova Scotia. Remember friends the City of Halifax Nova Scotia says "You won't hear of us having any mental hospitals, fruitcakes or madmen here in Halifax,anymore. In fact, in these parts those words and terms are illegal."


Why do I keep doing these quizzes?

Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.
Must kill, ha ha, ha ha! Death! Playground antics! Cake and cheese! Yes! you're an

Insane ninja child!
The blast must have hit you particularly strong, because you've gained a billion new superpowers and can take on anyone you want. Even that kid Gunrock-with-nine-arms from down the street. Only problem is, it's driven you completely insane and you now have a thirst for blood equalled only by your thirst for vengeance and peeing in the kitchen bin.

No, stop! That's what the toilet's for. Stop I say!
This result really bothers me, in a way.

hat tip to Mike the Marine.

Recent Linkage TO FSMC: a Rundown.

Something's up. I keep getting traffic from a smorgasborg of blogs. The following observations seem to be related.

Larry the Liberal is linking to defaming me as the "Lying SpaceNazi" on the Blame Bush Blog Blogroll. "[BLEEP] That BUSH!" For shame Larry, Language!

I have been added to Ed's Monkey Watch List (Blogroll), and to tell you the truth, it's kinda making me just a wee bit paranoid. SHHHHH did you hear that? It's like someone, somewhere is...reading...my...blog. They're reading.... this...verrrry...post...riiiiiight...now. [shudder] Nahhhhh, I'm sure it's all in my head. Yeah,all in my head, No, wait, my hit counter just jumped by one! Who's there? SPEAK UP! I know you're there I can hear you breathing!

Tim is an Englishman, who, incidentally lives in An Englishman's Castle, in England, no less! He has added me to his blogroll after noticing I wasn't on it. Now the obvious question here is 'Why can't everyone out there realize their mistake and forthrightly correct it like Tim has?' Spot on Tim!

I have been listed under "Section Eights" on Mike the Marine's blogroll on the From the Halls of Montezuma to The Shores of Tripoli blog. Section Eight, that's a good thing, right Mike? I tell you those jarheads and their military terms like MRE, BDU, BR549, EIEIO and Section 8. Aren't they a hoot?

Bert over at Dreifuss.org has added a really cool button on his 'Button Only' Blogroll that directs hapless readers to my little outpost. The poor suckers.
Mr. Free Market across the pond at Free Market Fairy Tales - Post-links me on the Scrabble name meme thing when he was bored. I think my score was higher than everybodies. Of course my blog name IS freakin' long. So maybe its not fair.

Harvey at Bad Money - Post-linked about how I put him in his place and stuffed him in his locker and took his lunch money, so to speak.

Robert at llamabutcher - Postlinks about the Geek Quiz, I can't really read this blog's archives very easily

This rash of questionable link choices should have everyone and I mean everyone concerned. But I really do appreciate the general linkerousity of all concerned, whatever their misguided motivation.

SpaceMonkey Reports: NASA, Mars, Water and Stuff


First let me get the big stuff out of the way.

In their briefing, NASA said that based on the evidence Rover Opportunity (MER-B) had gathered they are sure with a small degree of uncertainty that there was at one time liquid water somewhere on Mars. The evidence to that effect was pretty much all around and almost everywhere MER-B had been sniffing and grinding. They showed some nice panoramic images of the area and the rocks all look stratified to me, like they had been laid down by sediment buildup.

They said based on three pieces of evidence, which I don't remember off hand, that liquid water existed and made Mars habitable to life as we know it at some unspecified point in the past. Oh yeah, the three things that pointed at water were the stratified rock, the salts found in the pebble like objects and evidence of soluble material being leached out of the bedrock. If my memory serves me.

Later they took a few questions from the press folks who had gathered there and when asked if they could tell if the area was ever a lake they said they couldn't tell if this water action took place on the surface,as in standing water, or underground. I've never heard it postulated that sediment formed underground. I'm no expert on geology that's just my observation.

Now for the small stuff.

The press conference certainly did nothing to change the stereotype that space enthusiasts and/or scientists are geeks. Truly a geekier group would be hard to assemble than the team they put together for the briefing. I wish I had a picture of them to show you.

The graphics were cool. I especially liked the Mars Sample Return Mission animation.

Did they answer my questions about the images from before? Weellll, Yes and No

The first picture, the one of objects looking like little spherical pellets, they called these things 'blueberries.' They said blueberries are, based on their sulfur content (they ground into a few), are little balls of Epsom salt like you'd buy at the drugstore to soak your feet in. I don't think Epsom salt comes as little balls, correct me if I'm wrong. Probably has to do with how dry they are there on Mars or something

The the second picture, the noodle looking thing they did not even address, unless they did it at the very beginning of the live feed, which I missed. A cover up? Who can tell?

When the briefing was over they put up the NASA logo reminiscent of a message from StarFleet Headquarters. I DID happen to screencap a shot of that.
SpaceMonkey - Out

What geeks we are. What geeks we are, I freakin' loved that part.

Coming up Today

My take on yesterdays big NASA Mars water press conference and few other choice pieces of trivial nonsense.


FSMC is Formatting funky today in your browser.

My CSS file is not loading for some reason. I'm looking into it.
Update: ok got a temp fix going, blasted comcast. Thanks Shane.

NASA to Announce "Significant Findings" regarding Water on Mars Tuesday

Read more here

Hey, that's today! Cool! Then maybe they will explain what these are.

and what this is

Apprentice 2

Don't do it. Don't give him the chance to tell you "YOU'RE FIRED"

He'll fire you in front of everyone on TV and to make it worse president Bush will make no effort to stop him.

You have been warned.....