Kerry Endorsed By Aliens

Following News that, if allowed to vote in U.S. elections, humanity would elect Kerry to be the next U.S. President, aliens of another kind announce they would elect him as well. Celebrations of Super Tuesday victories were interrupted Thursday Night when strange lights filled the sky as Kerry was allowing supporters at the event a sneak glimpse of his pick for VP.

Strobing lights and a throbbing eirie hum filled the arena as a saucer shaped metal craft landed. Then silence. An opening suddenly appeared in the side of the silvery vehicle and a hooded being then emerged and strode across the stage towards the startled Senator from Massachusetts, who by the way served in Viet Nam.

Using a form of mind-to-mind direct communication which boomed in the empty heads of all those present, the being identified himself as 3rd Prelate VtNmBkpdl of the FlpFlp Cluster and immediately expressed his ire for President Bush and his support for Senator Kerry.

[CURRENT ADMNISTRATION'S UNSAVORY PLANS TO ESTABLISH HUMAN PRESENCE ON MOON WHICH ORBITS THIS PLANET AND ALSO FOURTH PLANET FROM YOUR STAR AS WELL AS UNAPPETIZING EFFORTS TO MILITARIZE SPACE ARE DELICIOUS REASONS HUMANS OF AMERICA SHOULD GIVE DIGESTIVE JUICES, SUPPORT AND VOTE TO HUMAN KERRY.

ONE CALLED KERRY FAVORS REDUCING WEAPONS AMONG HUMAN POPULATIONS. FLPFLPIANS AGREE, CONCEPT OF UNARMED SPECIES IS EASIEST TO SWALLOW.

WITNESS WITH YOUR VISUAL ORBS.]

At this point two long pale grey tentacles extended from the cloak which masked most of the alien's features. Many chuckled at the funny alien's joke. Then, to the cheers and applause of the crowd, VtNmBkpdl extended one tentacle towards Kerry who grasped it in a handshaking motion. At ths point a group of Kerry's supporters lined up by the dozen asking to be probed by the alien. The alien further expressed an interest in having many of those present for a meal on board his craft following the party.

The alien guaranteed his kind's help to control the exploding Human population of Earth if Kerry is elected, but offered few details as to what that help might be. VtNmBkpdl continued his mindspeak to provide the media a good soundbite

[KERRY IS MOST EDIBLE CANDIDATE FOR AMERICAN PRESIDENT. FLPFLP SUPPORTS KERRY]

In a related story, France surrenders.

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