You know*, I used to make really great chimpanzee noises. Maybe I still can. What am I talking about? Of course I still can. I am the king of monkey chatter, besides a real monkey that is. Well actually, I was never crowned king. But that's beside the point.
And what exactly is the point? I am screaming today, not any sort of monkey scream mind you but screaming just the same. I'm not making any sort of awesome monkey gestures though, they go way better with the monkey noises than without them. Without the monkey noises the monkey gestures really just look plain silly.
But I am screaming just the same. Well, not screaming out loud so much, that'd wake the little monkeys. No, its really more of an internal scream, one you'd hear if I could project my mind into your head. Don't get me started on how cool that would be. For me. Other folks wouldn't like it. That's a given. But with that kind of power I don't think it would bother me what happened to the 'little' people. Ok. Back on subject, screaming.
So. why am I screaming inside my head? Why its because I am sitting here looking at all the peoplessss who've been dropping by my little steaming pile of wonderousity this weekend, and I had nothing fresh for them to peruse, nothing, no fake news, no science nerd stuff, no...what that other stuff do I do? Well, whatever it is I didn't have any of it either. And that makes me sad. That's why I'd be screaming now if I were in a good place to scream, like in the car on the way to work. My comfy chair is not suitable for screaming.
But wait just a cotton picking minute. For most of ya'll its your first visit anyway so it's all fresh then. Right? Right. So I guess I don't feel so bad after all. Why I am even bothered that I've been shortchanging any old body. You've got my old stuff. Some of it is a real scream.
*I didn't really think you knew. you know?