After Senator Kerry made the claim various foreign leaders have encouraged him to beat Bush in 2004, the names have not been forthcoming. In a bid to defend himself against cries to release those names of Sen. Kerry has offered the following statement.
I will not give up their names. Not even if I could, some of them don't have names, per se. They are more "power behind the throne" types, not names most outside of the elite would recognize. You probably haven't seen photos of most of them, as the majority of them don't have visible reflections. Some live in caves or some are in U.S. custody, some are in exile from their island nations and some rule their Island of Doom Strongholds with a peaceful iron fist. It would be unfair to bring their nefarious yet peaceful causes to light. They don't like light.However, the newly elected Spanish president, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, has been vocal in his support of an America ruled by John Kerry. Zapatero said
I think Kerry will win. I want Kerry to win. We leftist Socialists have to stick together.The response from Kerry's campaign headquarters was along the lines of "Hah! See there? I wasn't lying.... Wait, did he just call me a socialist? Merde!"
This Fake News story brought to you by the John Kerry Supporter Protection Program. Remember friends, the nice folks at the John Kerry Supporter Protection Program say, "We can get you a new name, new birthday and new driver's license in a new city. Basically, we'll help you start over with a new and conservative seeming identity. And no matter what, no one ever has to know you ever supported that frog."