Thanks, black-5 for the link.
Am I a Southern boy or what?
create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide
Saturday
My Where I Have Been Map.
Thanks, black-5 for the link.
Am I a Southern boy or what?
create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide
Friday
Open Letter to Mydoom Author
MSNBC - Mydoom threat still high;Microsoft offers reward:
To the guy/gal who wrote the mydoom worm:
Your Mydoom worm has really caused a stir. I would offer you one teesy little suggestion. Make it block SPAM.
If you had made it block spam, whos like spam?, instead of blocking the anti-virus sites, but kept blocking the popup ads, you probably could have sold it, instead of giving it away free and made big bundles of $$$$$$$$
Also it could keep people from going to bad scary evil web places that nobody really has any business going. Such as "howtokillamanwithtoast.com" , "eBay" or "DeanforAmerica.com".
Drop me an email and we'll work out the plan for marketing it! Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
SpaceMonkey
"In addition to attacking Microsoft and SCO, the new version also tries to block victims from reaching antivirus Web sites. It also blocks ads served by about a dozen advertising network sites, including Ad.Doubleclick.net and ads.Fastclick.net."
To the guy/gal who wrote the mydoom worm:
Your Mydoom worm has really caused a stir. I would offer you one teesy little suggestion. Make it block SPAM.
If you had made it block spam, whos like spam?, instead of blocking the anti-virus sites, but kept blocking the popup ads, you probably could have sold it, instead of giving it away free and made big bundles of $$$$$$$$
Also it could keep people from going to bad scary evil web places that nobody really has any business going. Such as "howtokillamanwithtoast.com" , "eBay" or "DeanforAmerica.com".
Drop me an email and we'll work out the plan for marketing it! Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
SpaceMonkey
My View On Raising The Minimum Wage
When I was in college I was in a fraternity. Next door to the house was a bar that served lunch during the day. Some of us would meet there for lunch everyday. I always got the burger. They served a really great burger, one you could actually eat every day and not get tired of. We enjoyed eating there and it kind of felt Melrose Placish. We'd laugh and shoot pool and argue about the argument of the day. Then, while we were eating there one day, the owner told us he was not going to be able to serve lunch any more, the restaurant was effectively closing but the bar would operate at night..
'Why?' we all demanded.
Well he explained it all to us, He was having to let his cook go. The one that made the eat-every-day-able hamburger. He told us he couldn't afford to pay him anymore. The minimum wage increase had passed and was going into effect.
My friends and I were out our midday social gathering, I was denied my daily burger, and the cook, a smallish oriental man who spoke no English, but smiled almost constantly, was out of a job.
Raising the minimum wage doesn't make everybody whose making it earn more. Some folks make much less as a result. Some folks aren't affected anymore than having fewer cozy places to relate with the gang.
Some folks just make do with lesser burgers, I STILL miss that burger, the fries (chips for some of you and you know who you are) weren't bad either. I was robbed of a unique simple pleasure by that stupid minimum wage increase.
'Why?' we all demanded.
Well he explained it all to us, He was having to let his cook go. The one that made the eat-every-day-able hamburger. He told us he couldn't afford to pay him anymore. The minimum wage increase had passed and was going into effect.
My friends and I were out our midday social gathering, I was denied my daily burger, and the cook, a smallish oriental man who spoke no English, but smiled almost constantly, was out of a job.
Raising the minimum wage doesn't make everybody whose making it earn more. Some folks make much less as a result. Some folks aren't affected anymore than having fewer cozy places to relate with the gang.
Some folks just make do with lesser burgers, I STILL miss that burger, the fries (chips for some of you and you know who you are) weren't bad either. I was robbed of a unique simple pleasure by that stupid minimum wage increase.
Wednesday
WWAFD? What Would Al Franken Do? or Violence is the answer.
When somebody is talking that you want to hear and then some body else is talking at the same time and you don't care to listen to them. What to do, what to do? Al Franken's answer? Sneak up behind and as nonviolently and in the most gentle and free speech protecting way you can bodyslam them. According to the NYPost article, he wasn't hurt, that is, Franken wasn't hurt. Strangely no word on the victim's/heckler's health status. Nor was there any mention of any Franken arrest for assault. Probably has a license to bodyslam or something similar.
UPDATE: Fake Quote of Stuart Smalley "I'm good enough, and I'm smart enough and doggonnit people like you need to shut up before I bodyslam you." - I crack myself up
UPDATE: Fake Quote of Stuart Smalley "I'm good enough, and I'm smart enough and doggonnit people like you need to shut up before I bodyslam you." - I crack myself up
Tuesday
The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia
According to The Oracle of Bacon at Virginia, I am 3 degrees from Kevin Bacon.
"The Oracle says: Steven Seagal has a Bacon number of 2.
Steven Seagal was in Marked for Death (1990) with Keith (I) David
Keith (I) David was in Novocaine (2001) with Kevin Bacon "
How am I three degrees from the Baconator you might ask? And ask you might. I was an extra in Under Seige with Steven Seagal, which was filmed here in town.
And 1 (me to Steven) + 2 (Steven to Kevin) = *3.
Where Am I? I was a sailor in the scene where the Chinook helicopter bringing the band/terrorists landed on the deck of the USS Missouri. I am kneeling then standing just to the other side of Gary Busey as he stands from kneeling to approach the chopper. You can just barely see my profile. No autographs, please.
What's YOUR Bacon number?
UPDATE: Thanks to Mike The Marine, who points out newly uncovered (and fomerly overlooked by me ) truths from the Oracle Of Bacon. Mainly he points out
"Tommy Lee Jones was in JFK (1991) with Kevin Bacon" which gives me a Bacon number of (drum roll) **2. I couldn't recall his (Tommy Lee Jones') name when I was conjuring the previous version of thissteaming pile thought provoking and pithy post. By the way, Mr Jones is quite an imposing character in person. A glare from him sent me into a puddle in order to get my bony self out of his way, one day on the set.
UPDATE2: I'm 2 degrees from Algore as well. Since he was Mr Jones' roommate in college. Ewwww, I regret knowing this.
*in your FACE, 4 degrees of Kevin Bacon people.
**in my FACE, Me from earlier today and...in your FACE, 3 degrees of Kevin Bacon people.
"The Oracle says: Steven Seagal has a Bacon number of 2.
Steven Seagal was in Marked for Death (1990) with Keith (I) David
Keith (I) David was in Novocaine (2001) with Kevin Bacon "
How am I three degrees from the Baconator you might ask? And ask you might. I was an extra in Under Seige with Steven Seagal, which was filmed here in town.
And 1 (me to Steven) + 2 (Steven to Kevin) = *3.
Where Am I? I was a sailor in the scene where the Chinook helicopter bringing the band/terrorists landed on the deck of the USS Missouri. I am kneeling then standing just to the other side of Gary Busey as he stands from kneeling to approach the chopper. You can just barely see my profile. No autographs, please.
What's YOUR Bacon number?
UPDATE: Thanks to Mike The Marine, who points out newly uncovered (and fomerly overlooked by me ) truths from the Oracle Of Bacon. Mainly he points out
"Tommy Lee Jones was in JFK (1991) with Kevin Bacon" which gives me a Bacon number of (drum roll) **2. I couldn't recall his (Tommy Lee Jones') name when I was conjuring the previous version of this
UPDATE2: I'm 2 degrees from Algore as well. Since he was Mr Jones' roommate in college. Ewwww, I regret knowing this.
*in your FACE, 4 degrees of Kevin Bacon people.
**in my FACE, Me from earlier today and...in your FACE, 3 degrees of Kevin Bacon people.
Monday
Miller's New Show Starts Tonight
My Way News:Dennis Miller to Give Bush a Free Pass
My favorite part of his new show?
"And a monkey."
"You read that right. Miller wanted a simian presence, believing a monkey occasionally scampering across the studio floor will keep both guests and viewers on their toes, he said."
Well, who wouldn't like a monkey around? Evolutionist's would likely consider the monkey a member of the family. Creationists would consider the monkey one of God's wonderful creatures. All the bases are covered. Briilliant.
I wonder if the Flying Space variety would be acceptable for the show. Hmmmmm, anybody know Mr. Miller's email?
Thanks to the Poliblogger for the the link
My favorite part of his new show?
"And a monkey."
"You read that right. Miller wanted a simian presence, believing a monkey occasionally scampering across the studio floor will keep both guests and viewers on their toes, he said."
Well, who wouldn't like a monkey around? Evolutionist's would likely consider the monkey a member of the family. Creationists would consider the monkey one of God's wonderful creatures. All the bases are covered. Briilliant.
I wonder if the Flying Space variety would be acceptable for the show. Hmmmmm, anybody know Mr. Miller's email?
Thanks to the Poliblogger for the the link
Sunday
Syndicated
Ok, I've got an xml feed now. I hope you're happy. Shane.
Update: The xml url is on the Sidebar on the left, no, your other left. Thanks for pointing that out Dan.
Update: The xml url is on the Sidebar on the left, no, your other left. Thanks for pointing that out Dan.
Saturday
Hey Moviemakers, Cut That CursingBleep Out.
Since DVD's usually have multiple sound tracks, usu. adding French or Spanish language dubs.
Why not have a PG-Rated language version on there too? That would be cool. Hey, for that matter, why not have a theatre release which is also the TV edit? They are going to do it anyway when it finally goes on TV, why not increase their potential ticket buying viewerbase? I don't know, seems logical to me. Guess I'm just ahead of my time.
Why not have a PG-Rated language version on there too? That would be cool. Hey, for that matter, why not have a theatre release which is also the TV edit? They are going to do it anyway when it finally goes on TV, why not increase their potential ticket buying viewerbase? I don't know, seems logical to me. Guess I'm just ahead of my time.
Overtoasted? Maybe
If you think I am an overtoasted, toast talker talkin' about toast too much, look at this toasty post in the poliblog. Sheesh.
Really, I'm ONLY kidding. Toast is the meme of the future!! Toast, anyone?
Really, I'm ONLY kidding. Toast is the meme of the future!! Toast, anyone?
Friday
It's Alive?
Spirit Rover Sending Data Again, Status Unclear
The Spirit Rover finally woke up this morning, still a little groggy, ate a balanced breakfast of sunlight and dry, white toast during a quick interview with Mission Control and headed off to explore. NASA and JPL issued a statement indicating a case of Martian Rover/Lander Flu (MRLF) has been deemed to be the cause of yesterday's sleep-in. MRLF or "MeRLFFFF' as the slang goes around among those in the 'know' at Mission Control is also the suspected cause of death for the ESA's 'Beagle 2' Lander, being smaller, punier, and linked to cheese eating surrender monkeys who prefer croissants to toast.
Spirit was visibly upset during the breakfast interview at comparison of it's unintelligible gibberish quasicommunications with Howard "Coward Scream" Dean's similar unintelligible gibberish. Defending himself in fashion that merits his name, Spirit said "Hey, at least I was sick and fevered. You are gonna make silly psycho sounds when you feel all endless loopy in the CPU like I was yesterday, but I'm all better now, The other guy? He needs to add "the factory" to the list of places he's gonna go. His 'captain insano' emotion chip clearly needs replacing, the one he's using is toast, man.......Angry dry white toast." Then, obviously losing interest in the interview and rolling away Spirit exclaimed, 'OOOH, LOOK! A MARS ROCK, another pretty, pretty MARS ROCK. TOASTY"
The Spirit Rover finally woke up this morning, still a little groggy, ate a balanced breakfast of sunlight and dry, white toast during a quick interview with Mission Control and headed off to explore. NASA and JPL issued a statement indicating a case of Martian Rover/Lander Flu (MRLF) has been deemed to be the cause of yesterday's sleep-in. MRLF or "MeRLFFFF' as the slang goes around among those in the 'know' at Mission Control is also the suspected cause of death for the ESA's 'Beagle 2' Lander, being smaller, punier, and linked to cheese eating surrender monkeys who prefer croissants to toast.
Spirit was visibly upset during the breakfast interview at comparison of it's unintelligible gibberish quasicommunications with Howard "Coward Scream" Dean's similar unintelligible gibberish. Defending himself in fashion that merits his name, Spirit said "Hey, at least I was sick and fevered. You are gonna make silly psycho sounds when you feel all endless loopy in the CPU like I was yesterday, but I'm all better now, The other guy? He needs to add "the factory" to the list of places he's gonna go. His 'captain insano' emotion chip clearly needs replacing, the one he's using is toast, man.......Angry dry white toast." Then, obviously losing interest in the interview and rolling away Spirit exclaimed, 'OOOH, LOOK! A MARS ROCK, another pretty, pretty MARS ROCK. TOASTY"
Scientist Makes Claim that DEAN is actually a "PROBE FROM MARS"
Sutter's Mill USA - Respected Alienprobologist, Dr Xeno Milquetoast Dds, PhD, LGM. has made the announcement that DEAN is actually a "PROBE FROM MARS"
Milquetoast upon remembering how in The War of the Worlds the Martian attackers walked around killing humans everywhere with their heat rays, then all got sick and died because of earth bacteria, the idea struck him like a heat ray.
Milquetoast says that the Spirit Rover, possibly the Beagle II and other failed landers have all been affected by Martian microbes gumming up the works in a similar fashion. Milquetoast defines this term as when works get all gummy like when microbes get in them.
Milquetoast says "Missions to land on Mars have all fallen silent due to Martian microbe-caused gummy works. It's a plague. We've probing them, they are probing us back and I have the proof!''
"Deans incessant ranting, not quite human emotional response, expressions, and reaction and the otherworldly screech, desire for world domination are clear indicators that he's a alien presence in the form of an almost human like replicant, y'know like in Blade Runner, but without the expiration date, sort of War Of The World Martian Attack Thingy Mark II. Maybe he's not completely gummed up yet but his works are DEFINITELY getting gummier. Gummy to the point of psychotic episodes."
Milquetoast observes, "He makes little to no sense. Did you notice the similarity between his screech and the Mars Rover current unintelligible gibberish?"
Milquetoast adds in a serious tone, "Also note how he jabs his 'finger' out as though sampling the earth air with a probe-tool."
"Note also how he's always taking his coat off and rolling up his sleeves. Earth is a veritable oven compared to Mars, so of course he's gonna be taking off layers to keep his heat ray from overheating and killing the electorate, before he's ready for that phase of his plan, that is."
"Why do you think he keeps his records as Governor of Vermont sealed? The first line of his Governor's Journal probably reads 'I now am leader a land region the earth beings call 'Vermont', The earth beings are easy to trick but not so easy to emulate. After I overthrow their world power, the 'U.S.A.', they will be fun to toast with my heat ray. I do so miss the probe factory back on Mars where I was built. Got to go, works feeling gummy, yeeeeahrrg.'"
"Dean's a Martian probe, that's all there is to it. You've been warned, don't blame me when he heat rays all over New Hampshire or Connecticut or Texas or.....Well, you get the point."
This Fake News is brought to you by: Milquetoast Anti-Heat Ray Clothing. 'Remember, friends, You won't get toasted if you're wearing Milquetoast'
Milquetoast upon remembering how in The War of the Worlds the Martian attackers walked around killing humans everywhere with their heat rays, then all got sick and died because of earth bacteria, the idea struck him like a heat ray.
Milquetoast says that the Spirit Rover, possibly the Beagle II and other failed landers have all been affected by Martian microbes gumming up the works in a similar fashion. Milquetoast defines this term as when works get all gummy like when microbes get in them.
Milquetoast says "Missions to land on Mars have all fallen silent due to Martian microbe-caused gummy works. It's a plague. We've probing them, they are probing us back and I have the proof!''
"Deans incessant ranting, not quite human emotional response, expressions, and reaction and the otherworldly screech, desire for world domination are clear indicators that he's a alien presence in the form of an almost human like replicant, y'know like in Blade Runner, but without the expiration date, sort of War Of The World Martian Attack Thingy Mark II. Maybe he's not completely gummed up yet but his works are DEFINITELY getting gummier. Gummy to the point of psychotic episodes."
Milquetoast observes, "He makes little to no sense. Did you notice the similarity between his screech and the Mars Rover current unintelligible gibberish?"
Milquetoast adds in a serious tone, "Also note how he jabs his 'finger' out as though sampling the earth air with a probe-tool."
"Note also how he's always taking his coat off and rolling up his sleeves. Earth is a veritable oven compared to Mars, so of course he's gonna be taking off layers to keep his heat ray from overheating and killing the electorate, before he's ready for that phase of his plan, that is."
"Why do you think he keeps his records as Governor of Vermont sealed? The first line of his Governor's Journal probably reads 'I now am leader a land region the earth beings call 'Vermont', The earth beings are easy to trick but not so easy to emulate. After I overthrow their world power, the 'U.S.A.', they will be fun to toast with my heat ray. I do so miss the probe factory back on Mars where I was built. Got to go, works feeling gummy, yeeeeahrrg.'"
"Dean's a Martian probe, that's all there is to it. You've been warned, don't blame me when he heat rays all over New Hampshire or Connecticut or Texas or.....Well, you get the point."
This Fake News is brought to you by: Milquetoast Anti-Heat Ray Clothing. 'Remember, friends, You won't get toasted if you're wearing Milquetoast'
Thursday
The Krauts had it wrong. We Don't Got Him After All
Reuters | Latest Financial News / Full News Coverage: "U.S. Official: No Truth to Rumor Bin Laden Captured "
Well that euphoria was a short lived ~18 minutes
*Sigh* Still, I think I scooped the blogiverse on the 'bin Laden captured' unfounded rumor meme..
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Well that euphoria was a short lived ~18 minutes
*Sigh* Still, I think I scooped the blogiverse on the 'bin Laden captured' unfounded rumor meme..
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
UPI: bin Laden captured???
Interest!ALERT: Quality Content: "Report: bin Laden held
BERLIN, Jan. 22 (UPI) -- Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden has been captured, Germany's Die Welt newspaper reported Thursday.
If this is true....heh heh WOW.
Update: Die Welt has this relevant looking breaking news item. "USA dementieren Gerücht über Festnahme Osama bin Ladens" but I dont read German and there nothing else there ,no link, no nothing, just a B&W graphic of an exclamation point.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
BERLIN, Jan. 22 (UPI) -- Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden has been captured, Germany's Die Welt newspaper reported Thursday.
If this is true....heh heh WOW.
Update: Die Welt has this relevant looking breaking news item. "USA dementieren Gerücht über Festnahme Osama bin Ladens" but I dont read German and there nothing else there ,no link, no nothing, just a B&W graphic of an exclamation point.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Wednesday
Dean's Plan For Dominating Zorhod 4 of the Trendax Cluster
I'm sure everyone heard Dr. Dean's rousing redfaced litany of states, nations, planets, globular clusters and extradimensional realms he will crush under his jackboots stylish loafers on his path to Supreme Dark Overlord of the Universe. Then he cleared his throat and coughed up 40 lbs of pure evil in the process.
Throat clearing and evil phlegm gurgling aside. Sounds like a well thought out and logical plan. I will sum it up if I may in a single word.
WIN!
With a fool-proof plan like that, he can't lose. It's utter genius! Only the Dr could come up with a plan like that.
One has to wonder though, why didn't he come up with that plan BEFORE the Iowa caucus. Ahh yes, the ways of the Dean are a mystery. But the news is great for all you Deanfans out there, since victory is assured, you can all sleep well in your biopods. Resistance is futile and pangalactic triumph is within your grasp. The trip down gumdrop lane has begun and won't end till the Dean finds the magic num num tree. Tralahlah lahlah treleelee leelee, wubba wubba.
Zoink.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Throat clearing and evil phlegm gurgling aside. Sounds like a well thought out and logical plan. I will sum it up if I may in a single word.
WIN!
With a fool-proof plan like that, he can't lose. It's utter genius! Only the Dr could come up with a plan like that.
One has to wonder though, why didn't he come up with that plan BEFORE the Iowa caucus. Ahh yes, the ways of the Dean are a mystery. But the news is great for all you Deanfans out there, since victory is assured, you can all sleep well in your biopods. Resistance is futile and pangalactic triumph is within your grasp. The trip down gumdrop lane has begun and won't end till the Dean finds the magic num num tree. Tralahlah lahlah treleelee leelee, wubba wubba.
Zoink.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Tuesday
Dean Blames Third-Place Finish on Attacks
My Way News: Dean Blames Third-Place Finish on Attacks
"Dean blamed the loss on attacks he suffered as the one-time front-runner. His rivals pummeled him with criticism, saying he didn't have the foreign policy experience or temperament to lead the country."
It was attacks alright, just not the ones he's thinking.
"Dean blamed the loss on attacks he suffered as the one-time front-runner. His rivals pummeled him with criticism, saying he didn't have the foreign policy experience or temperament to lead the country."
It was attacks alright, just not the ones he's thinking.
Dude, where's my sense?
COURTTV.COM - PEOPLE - Man tosses marijuana into security tray while going through metal detector
After making bail and securing a fresh stash, he *allegedly was one of the 2 doofs who voted for Kucinich.
As he left the caucus, he was *allegedly quoted as saying 'Whoa, I could really go for some pie'
* I am so totally making this up
After making bail and securing a fresh stash, he *allegedly was one of the 2 doofs who voted for Kucinich.
As he left the caucus, he was *allegedly quoted as saying 'Whoa, I could really go for some pie'
* I am so totally making this up
RE: Gephardt
I wonder if the author of the miserable failure line feels like a victim of irony now.
I wonder.....
Unfortunately for the poor guy his name and the term will be joined in the memories of this generation moreso than the way he intended.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
I wonder.....
Unfortunately for the poor guy his name and the term will be joined in the memories of this generation moreso than the way he intended.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Monday
Notice Anything?
Whew! Finished the new layout, been a long time coming. Once again, thanks are due to Shane.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
How was your weekend?
'How was your weekend?', a coworker asked as we fought the brisk wind to enter the office building in which we are both 'cubed'.
'O-kay' I said after a brief moments pause and stepped through the door.
'Uh-oh that doesn't sound good' he said as we continued down the hall.
'Why do you say that?' I replied.
'The way you said "okay" sounds like you had a bad weekend' he answered as he opened and stepped through the door to the IT cubopolis we both call 'work'.
Following him in, I offered 'Well, I didn't discover a transdimensional portal in my closet or anything this weekend and I didn't invent a NEW meat flavored beverage. I just had a normal quiet weekend'
Then over the cube wall we hear 'Oh brother, not again with the meat flavored beverages'
I chuckle inwardly. They hate it when I mention the meat flavored beverages. They'll see, they'll see.
Then I stopped chuckling.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
'O-kay' I said after a brief moments pause and stepped through the door.
'Uh-oh that doesn't sound good' he said as we continued down the hall.
'Why do you say that?' I replied.
'The way you said "okay" sounds like you had a bad weekend' he answered as he opened and stepped through the door to the IT cubopolis we both call 'work'.
Following him in, I offered 'Well, I didn't discover a transdimensional portal in my closet or anything this weekend and I didn't invent a NEW meat flavored beverage. I just had a normal quiet weekend'
Then over the cube wall we hear 'Oh brother, not again with the meat flavored beverages'
I chuckle inwardly. They hate it when I mention the meat flavored beverages. They'll see, they'll see.
Then I stopped chuckling.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
Working on a holiday
Boy, don't ya LOVE working on a day when most folks are off? Really, there they are all sleeping late, wearing pajamas all day and watching the soaps and I have the unrelenting pleasure of going to the office to work. BooYah! Nothing like it, I tell ya. Nothing at all. So if you are at home reading this in your jammies and bunny slippers, then I have this to say to you
"NEENER-NEENER-NEENER, YOU-had-to-STAY-home and-I-GOT-to-WER-erk. HAha-haHAha!"
I'm only laughing to keep from crying.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
"NEENER-NEENER-NEENER, YOU-had-to-STAY-home and-I-GOT-to-WER-erk. HAha-haHAha!"
I'm only laughing to keep from crying.
SpaceMonkey AWAAAAAAY!!!!
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